Few months ago, during the season when the baby seagulls were finally coming down to ground level and starting to move around on their own, I took a bicycle ride. Then I came back from my ride, left my bike in the building's parking lot, grabbed a bunch of tools from my apartment, and went back to my bike to do some maintenance on it.
The entire time I worked on the bike, I was harassed by three barely-not-a-baby-anymore seagulls who thought the parking lot belonged to them. It was the same gang of dumb birds who'd charged my car a few times while I was driving in and out. Pretty sure they shat on it a lot too. Anyway, while I was doing the bike maintenance thing, one of them stood right next to me and yelled at the top of its dumb lungs with its dumb wings spread out to intimidate me I suppose. Another one ran laps around me and my bike, also yelling. The other one didn't yell as much, but it tried to run at me and slap me with its dumb wings. People passing by watched me yell "fuck away from me dude" and flap my oil-stained rags at a bunch of angry baby seagulls for like 20 minutes while intermittently sitting down to clean the chain or whatever. I am aware it looked pretty stupid but I am not surrendering my parking lot to a bunch of dumb seagulls who are just shedding their dumb baby feathers. I cleaned the sprockets, oiled the chain, and adjusted the gear cables right where I always do it. Mama didn't raise no bitch.
Anyway, that's the story. And the moral is, yes seagulls are dumb.
