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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/ShallowHal99 on 2024-02-12 21:57:16.
I used to work for a small company which was acquired by a group of investors did not do a good job of hiding that they are planning to replace everyone with low-skill contractors and sell the company. For all of 2023 they've been pushing us non-stop to update our procedure documentation.
Our senior-senior manager announced in FY23 that there will be a monthly quota for procedure documentation. When there was pushback his response was that it doesn't always have to be complicated procedures or a perfect procedure (he was always spouting something about not letting perfection get in the way of progress), etc.
I was already thinking about leaving to finish my degree, so I immediately began the application process. But in the meantime, for most of 2023. I met my quota by documenting the most unnecessary procedures. But I gave them corporate descriptions so it's not immediately obvious.
Some of my favorites:
- How to turn on my computer (Accessing information technology resources)
- How to log on to my computer (Utilizing security practices for informational technology resources)
- How I delete and move files out of Google Drive (allocating digital assets for collaborative processes)
- How to block your outlook calendar (Automating availability information across teams)
- How to request new office supplies from Staples (Physical asset procurement)
Since our team will be let go early in any acquisition pretty early in the process most of the lower level managers left or were checked out as they job search. My manager had been so distracted that they never reviewed any of my procedures, I asked for feedback on a few real procedures to make it seem like I was doing what they asked, and basically they simply checked off that I've been meeting my quota.
I left the job in December and have started school this Spring, but I just heard from an ex-colleague who is still with the company they JUST discovered my procedures. He just texted me and said the senior-senior manager is furious because other people were basically doing the same thing, and now most of our team has left and they barely have anything documented.