this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
420 points (98.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

34411 readers
3661 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Worshippers of Tupac do wear this.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Explicitly as an homage to the crucifix, though.

Also, this is part of a Bill Hicks bit about Kennedy.

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he’s gonna want to see a [beep]ing cross, man? “Ohhh!” May be why he hasn’t shown up yet. “Man, they’re still wearing crosses. [beep] it, I’m not goin’, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes I might show up again, but … Let me bury fossil heads with you, Dad. [beep] ’em … Let’s [beep] with them! They’re [beep]in’ with me now, let’s get ’em. Give me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”

You know, kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know. “Thinkin’ of John, Jackie. We love him. Just tryin’ to keep that memory alive, baby.”

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I think we might be wearing bows, crossbows, slings, catapults or trebuchets more than a gun if he was shot, considering they had those other things to shoot him with.

wearing a trebuchet on a chain

"Jesus was yeeted for your sins."

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What if he drowned? Would the Catholics wear golden lakes?

[–] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 12 points 1 week ago

Prolly just a water drop.

I'm also on board with this.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Have you tried to drown Jesus? You can't even get the soles of his feet under the waterline.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 6 points 1 week ago

flip him upside down?

Styrofoam boots

[–] ramble81@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Would baptisms be called “golden showers”?

[–] vane@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What if he died by snu snu ?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Big bronze fanny

[–] omniman@anarchist.nexus 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

jesus has sus in it so that means G sus that means G sus is andrew tate and he is sus but whats sus about him . making people fool for his business

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's too early for this shit.

Being that high, I mean.

wake a nd bake bruh

[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

true american dream

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

If ancient Rome had had the electric chair as its method of execution, the equivalent of the sign of the cross would be a lot more animated.

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A chair with a lightning bolt through it would honestly be kind of metal.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Though Christians tensing up, grimacing and shaking would be a lot more peculiar than them touching their forehead, belly and shoulders in succession.

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago

All of them with their arms on the armrest and making an o-face before every meal would be pretty fun to watch.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

Don't some Christian sects do that as well?

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Does this mean St Peter held his gun sideways?

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Supposedly was crucified upside down.

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Too complicated. It would be a gold and diamond encrusted cartridge.
And we'd have enough holy relic fragments of the bullet which killed Jesus to supply an entire army's ammunition needs.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

The bullet is a much better idea than a gun. The whole gun thing is kinda gaudy. I also like the "relic" angle of selling fragments to the believers

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Haha imagine a little golden electric chair, or gallows, or lethal injection machine.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would rock the fuck out of a Diamond encrusted gold guillotine.

and i could use it for my cigars! i'd have to start smoking

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hell if it were the gallows, wearing a necklace with a knot might have become prescribed religious attire.

Not that far off from neckties as standard office wear, to be honest.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Random thing I just learned. The other day, I heard the news refer to the company Glock. 33 years of life and I had no idea Glock was a brand name. I thought it was a word for a type of gun, like rifle is a type of gun

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

To shreds you say

Some christians do. There's a fork of the unification church.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I'd wear one of those if I could afford it

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago

If Bill Hicks had lived he’d have got really fat and then died of that instead.

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Bold of you to assume that I'm not.