Ask Lemmy

Hard work. Stopped relying on other people to do shit I should do myself. Died a couple of times. Stopped giving a fuck about what other people think.

You keep going at it. You try to make yourself a better person, bit by bit, and forgive yourself for your mistakes. You work to understand your own neurosis and patterns of emotion and find ways to work on them. I still feel dysfunctional sometimes, but it's a pattern that I've learned not to fall into fully.

A job that feels reasonable meaningful was probably the biggest game changer for me

Mainly self-delusion 😌

I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Just don't die and get old

Started taking my meds

Becoming a father at 28, after realising that is what I want from life; going deeper into the realm of love, wanting to live out the unconditional, unfaltering love for my own offspring. Finding the perfect person to go down that rabbit hole with, getting married, and less than a year later we have our first child.

It was all so easy and natural, made manifest by two people sharing this simple dream. A solid foundation was cast, I got to see firsthand that I can do this just as good as I hoped.

Something also happened before in my mid-20s. I was on a bit of a blue streak. Ended up taking an introductory course to zen sitting meditation. Two sessions was enough. Realised there's a photocopier in my head that spews out thoughts, some of them ugly. I couldn't turn it off, but I could refrain from reading the papers. Found inner peace right there and it has stuck.

On the fulfilling community aspect, I found that at my Unitarian Universalist (UU) church. UU's don't believe in a shared religious text, instead they have a core set of shared values. My church has people who identify as atheist, Christian, several types of pagan, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, etc. We celebrate religious holidays from all of them as well as secular holidays like Trans Day of Visibility and Earth day. The focus is on being together and trying to make the world a better place. I also really like the music program. There's a handy website to find a congregation near you, many stream services on Zoom so you can test them out before going in person.

Antidepressants

Spending copious amounts of time thinking while out hunting or fishing.

By having a massive schlong

Paying off debt and getting a stack of cash.

Being able to take care of people.

In that order.

But then you still realize how the entire thing is a house of cards. And you are still a peasant, with a few extra lives.

But that's about as good as it gets for the working people.

The only real solution is quit being poor and that's pretty much unreachable for like 80% of population.