this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2025
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Funny

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 48 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Keep it in mind: every time you take a shit, you're essentially reverse dildoing your ass. Very homo.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Umm, reverse homo, so super straight actually.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Sucking dick is then always hetero, because it goes in on the other side, so kinda reversed too?

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sucking dick is always okay

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[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wiping your ass is especially gay

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I read a story where a guy didnt wipe ass cause it makes you gay. He let it dry out and "handle itself". I was really hoping he was pro-bidet....

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago

That makes my ass itch just reading it

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This has happened to me before.

[–] Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com 59 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nothing to debate here with a username like that. Just smile and nod as I skip to the next post...

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)
[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have no idea. And I'd rather not find out either. Nothing good will come from trying to find out.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

A little good might come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Technically it's possible, but the likelihood of it ever happening to someone is about as good as you finding a leprechaun's pot of gold.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Hah, jokes on you, that has happened to me

I found a pot of gold

I just found pot then lost all motivation to keep looking.

Funny memes go ha ha

[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Sounds like you underestimate the power of opiate-based constipation. I've heard from addicts of this happening enough that I just assumed it would only happen to someone that severely constipated.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes. It hasn't happened to me, but I had a close call once.

One of many things I will not be discussing with my therapist.

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

"Let's go back to the time you had that life altering turd splooge. How do you think this affected your relationship with your father?"

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Im curious too but i know there's a 0% chance of getting a straight answer here in the comments.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

I sure hope so.

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 weeks ago

Y'all need some fibre

[–] classic@fedia.io 12 points 2 weeks ago

Lots of TIL in this one

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

that one guy on Quora's quest to shit cum and piss at the same time is actually possible. Who knew

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

The unholy trinity....

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What? No matter how bad a diet I’ve had this has never been a thing.

[–] Apocalypteroid@lemmy.org 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Sitting here doom scrolling lemmy and waiting for my first mellencamp.

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

I can almost feel the definition of mellencamp replacing a childhood memory in my brain.

[–] Zdvarko@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

So aah for science what diet would um assist in this happening?

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

As a plant eater I hate to say this but a pure meat diet (absolutely nothing else) will do this to you, it’ll be a once-a-week (or so) ass ripping constipation dump with the best chances for your eh… fulfilment.

[–] PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago

I had a UTI recently (thanks to the diabeetus) and for some reason I got constipated as a side effect. Can confirm, 3 days backup was enough to trigger this interesting event.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 2 points 1 week ago

As a pure meat eater, i have some bad news, carnivore poops are regular, small, and without any constipation.

[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Ignore any other advice and do heroin. The post-constipation dump is the only way I thought this happened to people lol

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you ever have to take a dump outside, away from a toilet, this can happen more easily. At least it's easier to notice. Happens to me nearly every time I have to do so. I work way out in the field, so often enough. Probably happens at the toilet more often than you think. You just have it tucked so piss stays in the bowl.

[–] IndolentRoshi@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, but you probably don't notice the ejaculate because you piss too.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You think guys don't notice getting a sudden erection or feeling an orgasm? There's more to it than just having cum come out of your dick.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It doesn't require an erection, and it never felt like an orgasm to me. Just the same momentary prostate stimulation you feel when you shit.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought it would be called a Mellencamp cause of his shit music.

I swear I am gonna jam a microphone down that man’s throat if I have to hear “small town” one more damn time. You can’t just rhyme small town with small town, stop saying small town!!

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah that had to be the worst, most repetitive song I've heard on the radio, and that's saying something

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Careful, you might summon the Wanky Shit Demon by mistake

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Sooo its not normal? Have I been lied too?

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Nothing like suffering from the ass destroyer ripping you apart while stimulating the prostate and getting that sweet weird boner.

Everyone here with pre signs of colon/prostate cancer. Not saying it can't happen but man, every male gets to deal with prostate cancer at some point in their life (most grow old without it ever being noticeable, but its still thete.)

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This reminds me about this really weird forum post I read about a long time where a lady started talking about how she orgasmed during child birth. I call BS.

[–] salty_chief@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would you call Bruce Springsteen?