Tonsure, easy. Why be a random hermit if you can't get that scraggly long hair wild man look?
this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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touch my gruel and I will schism
if I can't have every single one you may as well kill me
Kevin just wants to be alone in the hills. Why do you have to have Kevin?! Don't you know what removing Kevin from the mountains does to 20th century filmographic depictions of Christianity?! Who would watch "Dogma" by Conor Smith?
bye kevin
Heretical
I've been eating mushrooms with the local pagans and I gotta say they have some ideas that seem pretty strange at first, but it all starts to make sense once you see that first solstice party
Excuse me, could you please step up on this platform here next to that pole with a bunch of firewood stacked up all around it and tell me more about their sensible ideas?
this is my man made hermit cave and I'm staying here
Hū meahte ic furþum cēosan? 
I have no idea how to translate this
Google translate says it's Maori for "Shuhte IC Fur girlum Close?", hope that helps
Its old English. I don't speak it but old English is like halfway between English, German and a Scandinavian language so it's somewhat legible.
Hu is how.
Meahte is made/could.
Ic is I.
Ceosan is choose.
furþum is fair/even/just.
So "How could I even choose" but I don't think that's actually how they would say that? But as I said i don't speak the language.
maybe how could i choose fairly?
Could be. I don't speak the language. I can just recognise the words.
Āxa þone tūnpreost.
Ask your local priest?
Tunproest is obviously [locality] priest. Tun is an area (Probably "town"?) and preost is still basically how they say priest in Danish and Norwegian.
Thone is just thine which is your.
And axa is just ask.
So modern day ask -> axe is appropriate English!?
AAVE was always valid English regardless of whether it can trace any specific pronunciation to the anglo saxons.
Even if "aks" had been a totally new construction you couldn't find in Chaucer, it would sinply be a case of metathesis. And if you're going to complain about a dialect doing metathesis then I better not hear you say wasp instead of væps
we should all speak proto-indoeuropean instead of all these johnny come lately vernaculars
bench appearo in shamblez
fucked up to suggest it is even possible to not curse the heathen saxon as i wake each morn and send god's wrath to the irishman as i lay down to sleep
I love demonizing the isle's pagans 
Well, I am already balding, so I probably don't need a tonsure.
Can I pick more than one? Can they all go?
You can pry my gruel from my cold dead hands
sorry kevin.