this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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memes

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One has to go (hexbear.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by HarryLime@hexbear.net to c/memes@hexbear.net
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[–] gramxi@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago

touch my gruel and I will schism

[–] jack@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

if I can't have every single one you may as well kill me

[–] dat_math@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Kevin just wants to be alone in the hills. Why do you have to have Kevin?! Don't you know what removing Kevin from the mountains does to 20th century filmographic depictions of Christianity?! Who would watch "Dogma" by Conor Smith?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hū meahte ic furþum cēosan? kitty-cri

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I have no idea how to translate this

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Google translate says it's Maori for "Shuhte IC Fur girlum Close?", hope that helps

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Its old English. I don't speak it but old English is like halfway between English, German and a Scandinavian language so it's somewhat legible.

Hu is how.
Meahte is made/could.
Ic is I.
Ceosan is choose.
furþum is fair/even/just.

So "How could I even choose" but I don't think that's actually how they would say that? But as I said i don't speak the language.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

maybe how could i choose fairly?

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

Could be. I don't speak the language. I can just recognise the words.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Āxa þone tūnpreost.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ask your local priest?

Tunproest is obviously [locality] priest. Tun is an area (Probably "town"?) and preost is still basically how they say priest in Danish and Norwegian.
Thone is just thine which is your.
And axa is just ask.

[–] Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

So modern day ask -> axe is appropriate English!?

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

AAVE was always valid English regardless of whether it can trace any specific pronunciation to the anglo saxons.

Even if "aks" had been a totally new construction you couldn't find in Chaucer, it would sinply be a case of metathesis. And if you're going to complain about a dialect doing metathesis then I better not hear you say wasp instead of væps

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

we should all speak proto-indoeuropean instead of all these johnny come lately vernaculars

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

bench appearo in shamblez

[–] djphdk@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

bye kevin

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

this is my man made hermit cave and I'm staying here

[–] Euergetes@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

fucked up to suggest it is even possible to not curse the heathen saxon as i wake each morn and send god's wrath to the irishman as i lay down to sleep

[–] Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Can I pick more than one? Can they all go?

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

You can pry my gruel from my cold dead hands

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Well, I am already balding, so I probably don't need a tonsure.

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

I love demonizing the isle's pagans england-cool

[–] uSSRI@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I've been eating mushrooms with the local pagans and I gotta say they have some ideas that seem pretty strange at first, but it all starts to make sense once you see that first solstice party

[–] DuckDuckGeese@reddthat.com 2 points 3 weeks ago

Excuse me, could you please step up on this platform here next to that pole with a bunch of firewood stacked up all around it and tell me more about their sensible ideas?

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Tonsure, easy. Why be a random hermit if you can't get that scraggly long hair wild man look?

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

sorry kevin.