this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
783 points (98.9% liked)

Microblog Memes

8848 readers
2338 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
ReadyUser31@lemmy.world
aeronmelon@lemmy.world
needanke@feddit.org
783
A true cinephile (media.piefed.world)
submitted 6 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
52 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 271 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (8 children)

When I was in college, I was pretty into a girl, but was too nervous to ask her out. I'm also famously oblivious.

A few months into this, she texts me saying she needs someone to peer review a paper, and wants me to come over to her place the next night around 10. She also specifically says her roommate will he out and she knows neither of us are seeing anyone, so we'll both be free to meet up.

So I go over there, and she comes out wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. I figure she's wanting to go to bed pretty soon.

She asks if I want a drink, and I ask for some water..She grabs it for me and sits next to me on the couch, and I lean in and.... ask for the paper.

She's like, "Oh, yeah." And she goes and prints it out and brings it to me.

It was pretty rough, and I peer-reviewed the shit out of it. I show her a bunch of mistakes and stuff, tell her she has some work to do, and leave.

I didn't realize how much of a seemingly-cruel dumbass I was for like a year.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 101 points 6 days ago

Oh god, this is painful.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 73 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Oh man, I can feel the pain of that realization hitting in the middle of the night a year later.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 61 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Once at a music festival I was chatting with a girl while standing in line. We talked for about an hour, did our shopping together and when we were returning to our camps, she said "I'm over there, under that banner if You would like to find me later and hang out". I said "I doubt that I will find You in this crowd" and went to my camp. I realized what I have done even before reaching my tent. Is it worse to realize a year later or 12min later but still not be able to take it back?

[–] Benaaasaaas@group.lt 30 points 5 days ago

I mean 12 minutes later you still knew where to find her...

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago

The eternal question. If the only difference is knowing, is knowing always better?

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 35 points 6 days ago

This is on her. If she was interested she would have suggested a make-out break before getting started.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 21 points 5 days ago

while yeah hindsight is clear.. that's the right way to play that. it's on her to make the move in that position, not for you to make her uncomfortable

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have been so depressed this week and you just made me laugh so hard and for so long my cat came into the room to check on me. I can totally relate to the obliviousness. I wouldn't recognize flirting if you wrote it on a sign and held it in front of my face

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The funny thing is I'm generally excellent at reading people, except when it comes to romantic stuff involving me. Reading people is a huge part of my job, and I'm excellent at what I do.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What do you do?

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

I work in the development office of a very small municipality with very wealthy, powerful residents. My exact role and the nature of the city for which I work are both fairly unique, so I really don't like going into too much detail. I get Open Records requests from major publications regarding cases I work on fairly frequently, and I'd rather not have one of their web searches find my Lemmy account.

[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

Fuck bro. I feel pain for you after reading that.

[–] cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The year after i graduated college i went back to visit for some alumni thing. I ran into this guy i had been flirty with the year before and he invited me over to his room to "hang out". When I got there, he had just done laundry and had clean sheets he needed to put on his bed. I offered to help. I offered by sprawling my whole body, ass up, across his bed so I could tuck the corner in.

And then...

I helped him make his bed and clean the rest of his room. And we had a really nice chat and catch up. A couple of hours later, we hugged goodbye and I left.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 49 points 5 days ago

Listen up, woman. I didn't spend all this money on speakers to watch shit on a postage stamp.

Now hold still while I fire up Jellyfin.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I was this dumb when I was a teenager.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 2 days ago

I like to think that I'm not that dumb anymore, but I'm definitely still afraid of misinterpreting something as romantic/sexual that was meant in a friendly way.

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 days ago

i still am

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago

Same. I like to think I've gotten older/wiser, but in reality, I do not believe I have.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Meeshall65@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Once i had a girl sleep over, because she missed the last Train. When i asked what Music she would like to hear, she said "let's go to bed" by the Cure. The next 4 times i asked her, she said the same thing. I remember thinking "gee she must really love that song". #autism

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 67 points 6 days ago

I mean yeah she did come over to watch a movie.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 31 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Yeah we all got one of these stories, I think I might have three. At least

[–] seemefeelme@infosec.pub 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Haha yeah guys I totally have a story like this too... Don't you just hate when girls flirt with you and you don't realise it... I mean it happens to me all the time... Soo many girls are interested in me... Sobs

[–] crushyerbones@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Sometimes decades later I suddenly realise I was being flirted on in some random party circa 2004. I used to think exactly like you!

[–] seemefeelme@infosec.pub 1 points 3 days ago

This would require me to be invited to a party

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 5 points 5 days ago

Three? What are you, a virgin? It took 20 to lose mine.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Y'all out here being handsome oblivious motherfuckers women hit on, meanwhile I'm just ugly.

[–] Zannsolo@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It's all relative man. Sure you might be ugly on a scale of 1-10 but a subset of that scale like 1-3 you might be still be ugly but if you expand the scale, say from -3-1 you the too dog man! Just find yourself a -3 and she'll want to watch movies on a laptop on your bed, just make sure you reinforce the bed frame.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lol great advice. I did actually reinforce my bed frame. Not because of the weight of my partners so much as the uh... force in play sometimes.

My main problem when I'm single is that I get very few matches on the apps, and I'm shy about approaching women in person unless they make the first move. Once I'm actually talking to someone, the chances are pretty decent and not just with "-3s". Same thing with job interviews. As soon as I'm in person, I'll talk pretty much anyone into hiring me - but getting to that point is difficult. Actually the job interview success rate is even better, it's like 80-90%.

[–] Zannsolo@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I feel you there. As far as dating apps go. In my experience, vet your photos. Photos I thought were good were bad and I used photofeeler to find my best pictures to use. Get some friends to help you with capturing some good pics and writing a good short profile.

I am a decent looking guy but wouldn't say I'm hot, and had pretty decent amount of matches and dates. Swipe yes less, be picky and don't just swipe right on every hot girl make sure there is at least something about them you think you would match vibes on. Keep chats brief and ask for a casual date early on and within a few days. Go on bad dates, it builds confidence.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 5 days ago (2 children)

isnt -3 like a 7. Like you get so ugly you become pretty again

[–] MBech@feddit.dk 4 points 4 days ago

Only to very specific fetishists

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 48 points 6 days ago

Kudos for staying true to your values.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 36 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You should have put on some erotica, just to rub it in.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 41 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"Those two sure look like they're having a good time, huh?"

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I’ve gotten plenty of hand jobs on the couch. Nothing wrong with the living room.

[–] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 14 points 5 days ago

Me too. My wife tells me to cut it out while she's trying to watch her shows though.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

That's gonna be difficult with the separate recliners, but I promise it's worth it. They're placed exactly right for the best visuals. Here are your headphones.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago

I left a bag at a house party one time, went to pickup the bag the next days and completely missed all the clues from the girl who I'd been flirting with on and off in the lead up to the party. I kick myself when I think back to it.

[–] Sturgist@lemmy.ca 19 points 6 days ago

F

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I had a somewhat similar situation but involving 3D modelling on a laptop. However, I was very aware I was being hit-on, but I just didn't care. I was in "the zone" making something for my project and didn't want to stop.

[–] bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

be silent wench, I need to finish this first

[–] sleepycapibara@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Coffee’s not coffee; coffee is sex! People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Coffee is horrid disgusting bean soup that exists to get workers with too much overtime addicted to a stimulant to keep them working.

Drink tea instead. We didn't do two opium wars and a spot of good old fashioned imperialism just to supplant the tasty fermented leaf for a bitter jungle bean. Much more civilised.

[–] mcv@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago

Way back when I was a student, I was at a girl's place for some project we had to do together, and she (and this is going to date me) showed off her stereo setup that she had hooked up to her PC to play Wolfenstein 3D. Later we also ended up watching TV on her couch together.

It took a decade before that quarter finally dropped.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

Me? Is that you?

load more comments
view more: next ›