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When I was about ten. Washed my uncle's Corvette without negotiating a price. I finished and the fucker didn't pay because "I didn't set a price before I started" or something to that effect. 10. Years. Old. I'm now almost 60 and still haven't forgot that. Hopefully I haven't turned into the ass he can be
People like that will do shit like that and then genuinely think "I thought them a valuable lesson." Like... no, arsehole, you just traumatised a kid for absolutely no reason and taught them that hard work doesn't pay.
"Fuck you I got my single free car wash"
Hope it was worth destroying his nephew's trust in him for life
That uncle
I would throw mud on his car every time i saw him until he paid up.
Turns out "teaching someone a lesson" can go both ways.
About 10 years ago, when I realized that automating my job just means I get more work (when I share my automations). Now a days, I still share some of my automations, but I wrote and hoard scripts to make me look good (and also lets me write more scripts since it takes probably about as long as my mid-level coworkers).
Upside is I can look like an absolute wizard when I want to.
A professional is consistent and manages expectations. I believe my performance is much more liked because I’m incredibly consistent, smoothing out the highly productive days and blending them with the less productive ones.
This is it. You cant give it your all every day. Youll be filled to capacity every day and be miserable. Then those days / weeks where your work load increase, you turn it up to 11, hit all your deliverables, and look like a champ
I was always told asking makes you seem entitled and you should do the work without complaint. Now I believe that yeah I am entitled to something. Still don’t say though and just grumble under my breath
insight is the first step to progress. congratulations :)
I’m not nice for someone else, I’m nice for myself. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good, and that’s why I do it.
I’ve got a parent who’s incredibly selfish, narcissistic and evil. After processing the years of trauma he’s inflicted, I’ve realized all I want to be is a nice and genuine person. I want people to experience warmth and happiness, cause a life without it is not worth it.
It's nice to be nice!
I don't even like being mean in roleplaying games lol
aren't we all roleplaying in the stage that is real life?
Coming in from a European perspective. During my first real job, I wanted to impress my supervisor. I was working some overtime (much less than I did as a student). My supervisor started passing by my office between 4pm and 5pm, letting me know it was time to go home, there was no need to overdo it. He was great… often telling me how I was exceeding expectations, and that was great as long as I was keeping a good work life balance.
Socialised protections are amazing… I still work overtime at times, but only when I feel like it (and I still never report it), I only taken on the amount of work I feel I can reasonably do. I strive for efficiency, not overburdening myself.
30ish. Working for a company that wouldn't let me move to their QA department because they "needed me more where I was" even though the manager of QA wanted me. The QA department didn't have anyone that knew how my department worked so they had never done any QA checks on us. Would have been a pay bump and no after hours support rotation. I got another job and they asked what they could do to avoid my leaving, and I said if they had done it then I wouldn't be leaving.
Narrator: and they didn't learn they lesson...
It’s honestly just who I am, I don’t understand moderation. I’m from the US and moved to Germany, and it’s exploited a lot less, which is nice, but I either give everything or nothing.
In a better world, being highly motivated to contribute to your neighborhood's well-being and improvement would result in... a nicer neighborhood with happier, healthier people living in it.
But now we're all just miners, digging up gold nuggets and hoping it means we get paid a fraction of their worth, with no regard to what this giant strip mine will do to the land we live in or our successors inherit.
As a person with ADHD. It feels like I always knew that working hard wouldn't get automatic rewards. Because no matter how hard I worked, I was never like the rst of the kids, and was always told I needed to try hardrr.
I was really fortunate to be raised by parents who knew that was bullshit brainwash propaganda. Thanks mom and dad! You aren't perfect but hey nobody is. Love you both!
16, 21, 27, 32, and 37. I just keep forgetting for some reason.
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Half a year ago years old. I'm doing over 20 years in software engineering now. And apparently will have to repeat the lesson eventually.
Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
eh.. havent figured it out yet tbh
Me 2. Read about it but something inside me still resists against really accepting this.
Amen. Why should I be less good just because lots of other people suck?
i refuse to accept a nihilistic stance on this tbh, i will keep doing me and if life wants to be a bitch about it she is free to give me her worst :p we shan’t buckle
I have the same and I think it's something like this, but for humans:
Like it's not hard to abuse people's trust, but if everyone did it, humanity would literally not exist. So we've learned to tolerate the dumb-fucks who don't get that and try to "game the system" (ie just being selfish cunts) so that society and humanity overall will prevail.
However since the industrial revolution, it hasn't worked, because abusing the trust and good will of others has become even more efficient and the amount of capital one person can accumulate makes a single person so wealthy and powerful that they can actually ruin the lives of all the non-psychopathic people who aren't being greedy society-destroying cunts.
Idk, doing all of that is how I went from a customer service agent to a senior IT engineer within 5 years.
You just have to know when to do that stuff and when to coast.
I'm 42 and it has worked out pretty well so far, honestly.
I joined the military, got good reviews (called "marks" for us), and tested well when I tried. Now I make good money, have the support of a lot of people in different departments and largely able to work on the projects I want, have gotten my #1 pick for station every time I have had to transfer, and will be retiring in 4 years with a bunch of ties to the community to keep me involved with things I enjoy after.
I get a lot of this is luck, and privilege (e.g. not everybody can join the military), and other factors. And regardless how hard I worked, many things ended up being popularity contests, so I missed some opportunties that way. But at no point did I feel like being nice and hardworking worked anything but in my own favor.
Most work places aren't as socialized as the military, but your experience is still valid.
Still be really nice. It’s usually not too much effort, but is always appreciated, especially by those who need that niceness the most.
In school when I realized that the people who copied homework and cheated in exams could get the same grades as me with a quarter of the effort + everyone else gave you shit if you told on them and the teacher still didn’t change their grade because you have no proof.
19 as an army conscript. Never volunteer, never be first, but also never be last. Never let your friends or colleagues do your work tho', always lift your share. Always have your friends back, never trow blame aroud out loud, nd never trust those who are willing to stab others in the back. Lost honor and trust can never be fully regained.
I've known this on some level for decades, but it only really got through to me a few months ago. It was my 10 year anniversary at work, and no one even mentioned or acknowledged it. While it hurt at first, I've come to be deeply grateful for it. It really freed me of the last vestiges of magical thinking like in OP. Now, I do the absolute minimum and if they fire me, fine by me too. So freeing.
Preteens. My mom worked her ass off and we lived in poverty.
I don’t expect rewards for being nice. I just want to be nice.
I’m bad at it though, but at least I’m trying my best.
40s. Very naive. Thought businesses cared about their employees. Now i realize they need little excuse snd milk the workers and never take a loss in favor of employees. Losses or lack of leadership ends up with golden parachutes and raising prices. Honesty is out the window in the world we live in today.
But you do get rewarded!......with more work.
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The right people will recognize and appreciate your efforts. Of course there are those that will try to take advantage of you, so you need to either learn to say “no” or pace your work to appear busy when they ask for more.
If I continue to be nice and work hard, it’s because I hold myself to certain standards and won’t let ungrateful people worsen me.
Um, I began falling apart about 11 years ago, but it got really bad over the past few years. I can specifically remember being in therapy over the holidays and coming to this exact realization. Like, I knew it before that, but that was the day that I, like, really felt it. I'm in my early forties.
Something like twelve. I saw how miserable everyone around me was and knew it was a crock of shit.
A kid. Probably around 10 or so. I don't ever remember planning that, in fact my goals were to have a good work life balance and trying to be myself as much as possible, even if that meant being a bitch to people. Within reason of course, not taking advantage of others.