this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by just_another_person@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] can@sh.itjust.works 81 points 2 months ago

[–] UnexpectedBehavior@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago

The Onion used to be a place of sinister satire. Nowadays, its just spreading hopeful and cheery messages

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That would probably actually work on Musk.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

"please stop bullying me I will give you a pony"

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 13 points 2 months ago

Ok, good.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I'm sure this would be real if some of us got a chance, tbf

[–] mang0@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Can someone explain what this is satire of? Or is it just random?

[–] wetsoggybread@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Teen girls are notorious for bullying, mostly kids in middle school (ages 11-14 for non-americans) in general are terrible

[–] mang0@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The onion typically bases their satire on recent political developments so I thought maybe he had shown to care about the opinion of teenage girls in a less extreme way or something similar. So in this case there is no actual deep satire and just being a bit silly?

[–] lime@feddit.nu 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

typically? not really

[–] mang0@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe you haven't realized it, but it's most definitely the case.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

It really feels split to me. The local news section has always gotten to me.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

technically Donald Trump has always been deeply moved by little girls. some say he's spent countless hours with little girls behind closed doors and that he's well versed in training them for obedience.

others say Donald Trump is a pedophile.

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

If only there was some sort of list

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's dark, American humor. Teen girls are brutal, and legitimately have led other teen girls to suicide.

This country is so fucked up.

Edit: This was quite funny, though. Again, dark humor haha.

[–] 800XL@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

If only. Fuck JD Vance

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Just call him Pope Francis and it might happen

[–] misteloct@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wish he was that sensitive. Trump and Musk, sure. Vance is the smarter, worse type of Republican imo.

[–] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He isn't terribly smart. Just not quite as stupid as Donnie.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

The bar is not that high. You just need to stop digging when the shovel is still in usable condition.