this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I truly can't tell these days, but Gaetz looks like Butthead.

[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Need youtube link substitution. I just probably got fingerprinted.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I've seen that one oh so many times!!! Heidi breaking character is as funny as Mike Day.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

He eats the sugar and "becomes" Cornholio.

[–] JoeTheSane@lemmy.world 41 points 6 days ago (1 children)

7/16 - Rep. Lauren Boebert wants Matt Gaetz to lead special counsel investigation into Epstein files

7/18 - Matt Gaetz leads special council investigation into the Epstein files

7/19 - Matt Gaetz dies from masturbation-induced dehydration

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised that he would meet that end on any random day.

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago

This... This isn't The Onion?

Humans are silly.

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 22 points 6 days ago

The logic being "it takes one to know one?"

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Oh, shut up

[–] Puddinghelmet@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

No need. We already know enough, don't we???? Hellooooo

[–] fucktrump@lemmy.world 276 points 1 week ago (3 children)

So the pedophile gets to lead the investigation into pedophile activity? Sounds about right

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 123 points 1 week ago (6 children)

And Handjob Barbie is involved as well, the skank that wanked off her date at the theatre with -I think- kids all around her.
Only an imbecile would trust these two scumbags.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 100 points 1 week ago (2 children)

She started dating her husband after he exposed himself to a bunch of teenagers (her included). Boebert definitely isn't against pedophilia, it turned her on.

[–] NJSpradlin@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

She’s just upset the Lolita* Express was shut down before she could visit the island.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Her son also filmed himself having sex with a minor, the film was found when they were arrested for trespassing, theft, and identify theft.

it's disgusting that she still holds office. That bitch better make sure her skull is shatter proof

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-son-sex-tape-tyler-1874680

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[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Yeah, the girl with stage V Stockholm's syndrome who was trafficked when she was underage insists!

Oh yeah, her shit bag son also caught charges for statutory rape

[–] oppy1984@lemdro.id 12 points 1 week ago

Well don't you want an expert to lead the investigation? - Bobert probably.

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 73 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Dream team Special counsel:

Lead- Matt Gaetz

Assist

  • Harvey Weinstein,
  • Bill Cosby from the jello commercial
  • the dusty bones of Strom Thurmond
  • R. Kelly's piss
  • fat Jared
[–] dhork@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago

You don't need a pedophile lawyer, you need a pedophile lawyer, get what I'm sayin'?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly I’m so confused. New factions are spinning off by the hour. It’s wild.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I legit cannot get over how fucking stupid people are. This isn't a new faction, they're gearing up to investigate and say there's nothing. Maxwell is in on it because she doesn't want to die in prison.

[–] jabeez@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago

oh there won't be nothing, plenty of dems gonna be on that list for sure, but mysteriously only a couple token no-name (R)s

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

every comedian with a mic and a camera needs to be lighting up everyone in Washington.

I heard Matt Gaetz was asked to investigate the case with Epstein. He declined stating the children involved in the case were too old for him now.

The FBI was investigating claims that Chuck Grassley is a pedophile. their report claims that it's impossible for him to be a pedophile since anyone that comes in direct contact with him rapidly ages and turns to dust. However, the report did find that there are over 45 children missing after a "sleepover" at his estate.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jesus, is she still around?

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

These fucking roaches never go away.

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[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey, Republicans, what happened with that "groomer" panic you guys were harping about not too long ago?

[–] Sp00kyB00k@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

They were panicking because they were thinking other people were stealing their kids that they want to groom. It is more like turf war than anything else

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well he is an expert in sex trafficking minors.

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[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Quite the crime fighting duo. A drug fueled rapist and one the most crazy skanks alive are here to solve all our problems.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

If you think the problems are bad… wait until you see their solutions!

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Only the Gross Old Pedophiles could come up with shit like this.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, this timeline really is fucking bizarre.

At least it seems on brand for the GOP.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 week ago

THIS is why she and the Other Republicans voted AGAINST Releasing the Epstein Files! They wanted MATT GAETZ to Release it Instead for some reason because that's PREFERABLE than Releasing it without him?

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Makes sense to appoint someone who knows the subject matter so well

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Terrible choice.

[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

guess Boeberts check didn't clear.

[–] YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's an oddly strategic move from a pancake like BoBo.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It was Ted “totally a human” Cruz’s idea, but he couldn’t sell it.

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