this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] fucktrump@lemmy.world 276 points 1 week ago (3 children)

So the pedophile gets to lead the investigation into pedophile activity? Sounds about right

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 123 points 1 week ago (6 children)

And Handjob Barbie is involved as well, the skank that wanked off her date at the theatre with -I think- kids all around her.
Only an imbecile would trust these two scumbags.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 100 points 1 week ago (2 children)

She started dating her husband after he exposed himself to a bunch of teenagers (her included). Boebert definitely isn't against pedophilia, it turned her on.

[–] NJSpradlin@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

She’s just upset the Lolita* Express was shut down before she could visit the island.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Her son also filmed himself having sex with a minor, the film was found when they were arrested for trespassing, theft, and identify theft.

it's disgusting that she still holds office. That bitch better make sure her skull is shatter proof

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-son-sex-tape-tyler-1874680

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[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Yeah, the girl with stage V Stockholm's syndrome who was trafficked when she was underage insists!

Oh yeah, her shit bag son also caught charges for statutory rape

[–] oppy1984@lemdro.id 12 points 1 week ago

Well don't you want an expert to lead the investigation? - Bobert probably.

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 73 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Dream team Special counsel:

Lead- Matt Gaetz

Assist

  • Harvey Weinstein,
  • Bill Cosby from the jello commercial
  • the dusty bones of Strom Thurmond
  • R. Kelly's piss
  • fat Jared
[–] dhork@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago

You don't need a pedophile lawyer, you need a pedophile lawyer, get what I'm sayin'?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly I’m so confused. New factions are spinning off by the hour. It’s wild.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I legit cannot get over how fucking stupid people are. This isn't a new faction, they're gearing up to investigate and say there's nothing. Maxwell is in on it because she doesn't want to die in prison.

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

every comedian with a mic and a camera needs to be lighting up everyone in Washington.

I heard Matt Gaetz was asked to investigate the case with Epstein. He declined stating the children involved in the case were too old for him now.

The FBI was investigating claims that Chuck Grassley is a pedophile. their report claims that it's impossible for him to be a pedophile since anyone that comes in direct contact with him rapidly ages and turns to dust. However, the report did find that there are over 45 children missing after a "sleepover" at his estate.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jesus, is she still around?

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

These fucking roaches never go away.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

MS beetlejuicer.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

she kinda disappeared around the same mtg did, when TRUMP got elected. before that all we could hear is from these 2 before the election.

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey, Republicans, what happened with that "groomer" panic you guys were harping about not too long ago?

[–] Sp00kyB00k@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

They were panicking because they were thinking other people were stealing their kids that they want to groom. It is more like turf war than anything else

[–] JoeTheSane@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

7/16 - Rep. Lauren Boebert wants Matt Gaetz to lead special counsel investigation into Epstein files

7/18 - Matt Gaetz leads special council investigation into the Epstein files

7/19 - Matt Gaetz dies from masturbation-induced dehydration

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[–] dumbass@quokk.au 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well he is an expert in sex trafficking minors.

[–] arin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Matt Gaetz is the present day Epstein

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Quite the crime fighting duo. A drug fueled rapist and one the most crazy skanks alive are here to solve all our problems.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

If you think the problems are bad… wait until you see their solutions!

[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I truly can't tell these days, but Gaetz looks like Butthead.

[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Need youtube link substitution. I just probably got fingerprinted.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've seen that one oh so many times!!! Heidi breaking character is as funny as Mike Day.

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[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 week ago

The logic being "it takes one to know one?"

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

This... This isn't The Onion?

Humans are silly.

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Only the Gross Old Pedophiles could come up with shit like this.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, this timeline really is fucking bizarre.

At least it seems on brand for the GOP.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Oh, shut up

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Makes sense to appoint someone who knows the subject matter so well

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 week ago

THIS is why she and the Other Republicans voted AGAINST Releasing the Epstein Files! They wanted MATT GAETZ to Release it Instead for some reason because that's PREFERABLE than Releasing it without him?

[–] Puddinghelmet@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

No need. We already know enough, don't we???? Hellooooo

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Terrible choice.

[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

guess Boeberts check didn't clear.

[–] YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's an oddly strategic move from a pancake like BoBo.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It was Ted “totally a human” Cruz’s idea, but he couldn’t sell it.

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[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Make sure his co-chair is her ex husband too.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How do these people not see the irony in any of this? It's so "on-the-nose" that it may as well be the punchline to a pedophile joke.

[–] blady_blah@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Really it's very on-brand for Trump. He's always looking for the worst person to do every job.

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[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

of course that dumb bitch conjures up this comically awful bullshit, and I'm sure it will be so because evil/incompetent shit heads have the keys

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a fucking nothing burger, and you all bought it. Boebert suggested Gaetz should lead an investigation. That's it. End of story. She has very little power, he has no power, nothing will ever happen here.

No one, in or out of Congress, takes either of these two people seriously. Except of course lemmy. Lemmy thinks these are serious human beings with, uh, some kind of influence.

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Boebert suggested Gaetz should lead an investigation.

That's the joke.

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