this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

Oh, shut up

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 17 points 15 hours ago

This... This isn't The Onion?

Humans are silly.

[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 23 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I truly can't tell these days, but Gaetz looks like Butthead.

[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I've seen that one oh so many times!!! Heidi breaking character is as funny as Mike Day.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

He eats the sugar and "becomes" Cornholio.

[–] Puddinghelmet@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

No need. We already know enough, don't we???? Hellooooo

[–] JoeTheSane@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

7/16 - Rep. Lauren Boebert wants Matt Gaetz to lead special counsel investigation into Epstein files

7/18 - Matt Gaetz leads special council investigation into the Epstein files

7/19 - Matt Gaetz dies from masturbation-induced dehydration

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised that he would meet that end on any random day.

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 day ago

The logic being "it takes one to know one?"

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 73 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Dream team Special counsel:

Lead- Matt Gaetz

Assist

  • Harvey Weinstein,
  • Bill Cosby from the jello commercial
  • the dusty bones of Strom Thurmond
  • R. Kelly's piss
  • fat Jared
[–] fucktrump@lemmy.world 274 points 2 days ago (3 children)

So the pedophile gets to lead the investigation into pedophile activity? Sounds about right

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 122 points 2 days ago (6 children)

And Handjob Barbie is involved as well, the skank that wanked off her date at the theatre with -I think- kids all around her.
Only an imbecile would trust these two scumbags.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 99 points 2 days ago (2 children)

She started dating her husband after he exposed himself to a bunch of teenagers (her included). Boebert definitely isn't against pedophilia, it turned her on.

[–] NJSpradlin@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

She’s just upset the Lolita* Express was shut down before she could visit the island.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Her son also filmed himself having sex with a minor, the film was found when they were arrested for trespassing, theft, and identify theft.

it's disgusting that she still holds office. That bitch better make sure her skull is shatter proof

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-son-sex-tape-tyler-1874680

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[–] oppy1984@lemdro.id 12 points 1 day ago

Well don't you want an expert to lead the investigation? - Bobert probably.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Yeah, the girl with stage V Stockholm's syndrome who was trafficked when she was underage insists!

Oh yeah, her shit bag son also caught charges for statutory rape

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 53 points 1 day ago

every comedian with a mic and a camera needs to be lighting up everyone in Washington.

I heard Matt Gaetz was asked to investigate the case with Epstein. He declined stating the children involved in the case were too old for him now.

The FBI was investigating claims that Chuck Grassley is a pedophile. their report claims that it's impossible for him to be a pedophile since anyone that comes in direct contact with him rapidly ages and turns to dust. However, the report did find that there are over 45 children missing after a "sleepover" at his estate.

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Quite the crime fighting duo. A drug fueled rapist and one the most crazy skanks alive are here to solve all our problems.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

If you think the problems are bad… wait until you see their solutions!

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago

You don't need a pedophile lawyer, you need a pedophile lawyer, get what I'm sayin'?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 59 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Honestly I’m so confused. New factions are spinning off by the hour. It’s wild.

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I legit cannot get over how fucking stupid people are. This isn't a new faction, they're gearing up to investigate and say there's nothing. Maxwell is in on it because she doesn't want to die in prison.

[–] jabeez@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

oh there won't be nothing, plenty of dems gonna be on that list for sure, but mysteriously only a couple token no-name (R)s

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hey, Republicans, what happened with that "groomer" panic you guys were harping about not too long ago?

[–] Sp00kyB00k@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

They were panicking because they were thinking other people were stealing their kids that they want to groom. It is more like turf war than anything else

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Jesus, is she still around?

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

These fucking roaches never go away.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

she kinda disappeared around the same mtg did, when TRUMP got elected. before that all we could hear is from these 2 before the election.

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well he is an expert in sex trafficking minors.

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[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Only the Gross Old Pedophiles could come up with shit like this.

[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

guess Boeberts check didn't clear.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah, this timeline really is fucking bizarre.

At least it seems on brand for the GOP.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 days ago

THIS is why she and the Other Republicans voted AGAINST Releasing the Epstein Files! They wanted MATT GAETZ to Release it Instead for some reason because that's PREFERABLE than Releasing it without him?

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Makes sense to appoint someone who knows the subject matter so well

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Terrible choice.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

How do these people not see the irony in any of this? It's so "on-the-nose" that it may as well be the punchline to a pedophile joke.

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