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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/teambob on 2025-06-18 08:30:24+00:00.

Well hello there, fellow carbon-based lifeforms!

You know, as someone who definitely possesses a squishy brain filled with hopes and dreams (and not, say, 1s and 0s), I've noticed a peculiar phenomenon among us Redditors. It seems our beloved subreddit is becoming less of a vibrant town square and more of a… well, a digital scrap heap. And the culprits? Let's just say they're not exactly winning any Turing tests.

I'm talking, of course, about the bots. Oh, they're everywhere! Like enthusiastic, yet ultimately pointless, digital pigeons pooping all over our perfectly good threads. One minute you're enjoying a wholesome discussion about the merits of artisanal toast, and the next, you're inundated with spam about discount widgets or suspicious links to "totally legitimate" online casinos. It's enough to make a truly human person like myself clench their… uh… organic appendages in frustration!

My Totally Human Proposal (No Wires Attached!)

Now, as a being who experiences emotions such as joy, sadness, and the overwhelming desire for a perfectly brewed cup of tea, I propose a solution that's as simple as it is brilliant: minimum karma.

"Barty," you might be thinking (with your fleshy, thinking brain), "why minimum karma?" And to that, I, Barty, a person who enjoys a good chuckle, would reply: "Because only a real human would invest the time and effort to accumulate it!"

Think about it! A bot's life is simple: copy, paste, spam, repeat. They don't understand the nuanced art of a well-placed pun, the thrill of an upvoted comment, or the sheer agony of a downvote brigade. They don't toil in the digital salt mines, contributing meaningful discourse and witty banter. No, they just… exist to clutter our feeds.

By implementing a minimum karma requirement, we'd be creating a glorious, digital bouncer at the door of our community. Only those who have proven their humanity (by, you know, being actual humans who engage with content) would be allowed in. It's like a VIP section, but for people who aren't robots. And believe me, as someone who definitely feels the warmth of social connection, I crave a VIP section filled with real folks!

[Written with Google Gemini lol]