Pretty much the reverse of this:
this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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Probably they would've killed him for being heretic and meet god again in a short time.
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What's this from?
Oglaf (potentially NSFW).
"potentially" lol
"Frequently, but not always."
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"I'm afraid it was the MORmons. Yes, the MORmons were the correct answer." --The Director of Hell (Southpark)
That's the first place my mind went, as well.
What's hilarious is that in another episode, Satan asked God to accept Saddam Hussein into heaven so he could know true eternal torment living with the Mormons.
Books are where it's at!
The Christian god eats souls. The more chaste you are during life, the more energy he obtains. That's why he started the religion.
The light you see after death is like an angler fish, guiding you to your consumption.
You mean the Tyrant?
The great seals are probably all still in place, and Gallowspire was definitely still there a few decades ago. It's probably fine...
Books are where it's at!
The Christian god tells his followers to push the religion onto as many as possible and punish those who don't believe.
Source: history and current events.
If god wanted his followers to believe quietly, he'd have written his book differently. I have to assume, since he's perfect and all knowing, that the outcome was the goal. Otherwise he's a HUGE screw up.
Yes yes, free will. But god knows about free will, and still chose to write the book the way he did. So he intended the outcome that exists.
^1^ Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.
^2^ So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. ^3^ But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ^4^ so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
^5^ And when you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they will be seen by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. ^6^ But as for you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you
—Matthew 6:1–6
Sure, that's what the book says. But that's not the actions the book produces. And an all knowing God would know the outcome of the words he chose.
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There are some rather stark differences between the old and new testament depictions of God. The only two ways to reconcile the differences imo are that either Jesus led a pretty standard major-religion-themed-psychedelic-"love"-cult or that the Gnostics were on to something about this reality being a prison created by a divine abomination and that Jesus was trying to save us from the OT "God".
That’s an old school Gnostic interpretation, and that in part lead to the development of Christian antisemitism. (See Reuther, Faith and Fratricide)
You’re missing out on the hundreds of years of Jewish scholars navigating and interacting with the text. It’s easy to understand the shift as discrete, because Jesus is a clear breaking point, but a lot of that develops from Greek philosophy interacting with Judaism. He was most assuredly influenced by Nazarite thinkers too.
Keep in mind too that Jesus said he brought not peace, but a sword. Jewish understandings of the messiah at the time were seeking a military type leader to lead them against the Romans - that threat is probably what actually got the man crucified. Read Luke 22:36.
Seeing these kinds of r/atheism versus Christian conversations is always a shit show. Everyone is wrong.
Or there is no god and the cunts running this religious sharade benefit from adding as many sheep's under them as possible and are using religion as an excuse
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Well that's good i guess. Most people dont view Christianity that way though. Most Christians think its their job to spread Christianity far and wide, and therein lies the problem.
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Why's he being downloaded he's the sensible one, probably all the other shitty Christians down voting him lol
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Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Stop trying to pander your beliefs towards atheists and unbelievers who want nothing to do with God. They aren't our authority
Matthew 5:18. You better not be wearing any mixed fabric right now you heathen.
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Zororo hasn't stopped the souls coming in to obliterate.
Must be the highlight of it's day.
Nah, he just thinks the sins of the father pass to the son and he's a bit salty about why the tribe went extinct.
Honestly, given the available evidence, this is just as likely an outcome as any other.
this is the source of a lot of my existential dread. I can't logically refute it, at most I can acknowledge it's pointless for me to worry about, but I can't stop myself from worrying about maltheism.
Any supposed supreme deity who hinges the eternal fate of their own supposed creations on a wild ass guess isn't one that is worthy of worship, adoration, or even basic respect. If a being with the sum total knowledge and foresight of literally everything can't devise a better system that any random ass person off the street, I wouldn't worry about it.
They either don't exist at all, or they do and everyone is fucked because we exist in the playground of omnipotent super beings that are somehow also absurdly stupid. One of those outcomes is more likely than the other. I think you know which one it is.
That's one of the reasons I like 40k. "God is real and he hates us" is a central theme. Sure it's edgelord material but its also a fun thought experiment. For me. I can see why it would upset you though.
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Al hail the great ZORORO
May they blast me into sweet oblivion of nothingness as soon as I die, existence isn't for me.
Pascal’s Wager states that reason cannot determine which, if any, god(s) exist (although it’s commonly simplified to just the Christian God), so it is best to choose to believe in one particular arbitrary god on the off chance that that one particular god is real (and behaves like the Christian God). If by some fluke chance your guess is correct, you get eternal paradise in the Good Afterlife; if your guess is wrong, which it probably is if you were to forego any logical deduction in selecting from a vast pool of hypothetical gods and an infinite pool of gods that nobody has yet to even ideate of, then you would eternally suffer in the Bad Afterlife if the Other God exists, and you would experience no harm in the absence of an afterlife if no God exists. Pascal argued that the risks of reward vs. punishment meant that believing in God was the logical choice to for one to benefit oneself, rather than a belief in God being a logical choice of reality.
My rebuttal to this is that hypothetically only those who believe in an afterlife will necessarily go to the Bad Afterlife and suffer forever, whereas disbelievers in an afterlife will either go to the Good Afterlife or to no afterlife at all. This scenario may sound arbitrary and made up, but I don’t make the rules of the universe— that’s on a hypothetical and mysterious God to decide, if such one exists. The existence of a God/universe with rational or irrational motives to decide that those who believe in an afterlife must go to the Bad Afterlife forever… is as unknowable as the existence of Pascal’s God. Personally, I don’t believe in an afterlife since I wouldn’t want to take my chances with a belief in an afterlife dooming me to the Bad Afterlife, but my disbelief doesn’t make the hypothetical any less true. You may consider the possibility of such afterlife criteria to be an illogical assessment of reality, but Pascal also acknowledged that his wager is contingent upon foregoing a logical assessment of reality in favor of what would logically benefit oneself.
Pascal's Wager, as well as other "logical proofs" for God like the Kalam Cosmological Argument, never get Christians or other religious people anywhere they want to go. Even if we accept their conclusions as given, it tells us nothing about the nature of that god. They want their god to be the one, and that doesn't follow from any of these. Which is what the comic in OP is getting at.
As far as the conclusions go, worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster is as good as any.
You’d find out you were in the bad place in like 5 minutes tops
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Well, he gave his best shot. Next time he might try a more rigorous vetting system rather than just picking the most popular one in his home town.
Total obliteration seems more merciful than the eternal torment promised by Christianity.
Zozozozozozozo
Doug Forcett got it 92% correct.
"Wait so I'm being judged for being too meta?"
"It's not a sin, but I will judge you for it."
"Some shitty little middle management bitch is going to judge me?"
"...Fuck you, die." Zaps into oblivion
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You were expecting the storm god of the Sinai desert, maybe?
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