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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Amore-Excellent on 2025-06-05 09:55:06+00:00.
My neighbor has always been a bit intense about his lawn. He’s the type who measures grass height and complains if your dandelions blow over the invisible line between your properties.
Anyway, a couple weeks ago I was watering a few potted plants on my front porch. Not spraying them wildly, just a slow pour from a can. Gary walks over, hands on hips, and says: “You really shouldn’t be wasting water like that. It runs off your porch and onto my side.”
It… dripped a little into the dirt between our driveways.
I say I’m just watering my plants. He huffs and says, Well then don’t let a drop come over here. I don’t want your water waste killing my grass.
So I smile, say Got it and stop watering completely. Even the pots that hang near the edge of the property line. I go full compliance.
The following week, we hit a heat wave. Every blade of grass on his side starts yellowing. Meanwhile, my little porch jungle is thriving because I started using those glass self watering bulbs and only watering late at night when he’s asleep and it soaks in before he can see a drop.
Yesterday he comes by, squinting at my plants, and says: Funny how yours look so green.
I just said:
Guess I stopped wasting water, huh?
He didn’t say another word. But I swear, I saw him watering his grass at 4 a.m. this morning like it was a covert op.