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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/FurtiveFox88 on 2025-05-31 23:22:34+00:00.
I've read some MC stories pertaining to coffee and decided to share my own.
My family owns a funeral home and I would work there for a Summer job when I was in high-school. While working there, I would show up before everyone and make the coffee for the day and do some light cleaning. The break room where the coffee machine was also had your standard office water cooler so I would make the coffee with the good water.
One day, I was making the coffee and my grandfather (the boss) showed up and asked why I was using the expensive water instead of the tap. I told him the tap water makes the coffee taste like shit. I know because I made it with tap once, took a sip, then poured it right down the drain.
He didn't believe it was that bad. He made his coffee from tap at home and it's fine.
Note: he never drank the office coffee, he drank his at home with breakfast. What he didn't take into account was that while the funeral home was nice and remodeled (very old building), the pipes were not because the water was used to flush toilets and wash hands, not for drinking.
He insisted that tomorrow I use tap. The coffee would mask the taste and no one would tell the difference.
"Okay, your the boss."
The next day I make the coffee with the tap. Now on this day, we had a funeral that morning. Two funeral directors, some members of the family of the deceased, the preacher, and I where in the break room trading small town gossip when one of the directors took a big chug of the coffee (the machine was old, the coffee came out hot, but the hot plate would only keep it luke warm) and immediately spewed it all over the preacher, ruining his white dress shirt. This was also the first time I ever heard a preacher curse lol.
The funeral was delayed 30 minutes while the preacher ran home to change.
Needless to say, I was allowed to make the coffee with the expensive water from then on. It's still something we all laugh about to this day, even the preacher.
edit *layout fixed by user dayatapark