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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Bryce_Madi on 2025-05-24 09:48:26+00:00.
Got called in for a random urinalysis this week at Naval Submarine School. No big deal—these happen all the time, and I'm clean. But the procedure this time was… extra.
We were herded into the urinalysis office, and the male observer gave a very clear and strict briefing:
"Pants and underwear down to mid-thigh. Shirts held up above the belly button. We need full visibility."
Okay. Roger that. But here's where I decided to add a little flavor.
When it was my turn, I stepped into the stall and had to pee—but nature decided to throw in a plot twist: I had to go #2. And well, rules are rules. So I sat down on the toilet with my pants and briefs all the way to my ankles (because, y’know, sitting down), undershirt held high, everything visible as instructed.
The observer stood there, just watching, expression slowly fading into regret. Dude had to maintain eye contact with the goods the entire time while I took care of business.
He didn’t say a word. I handed him the pee cup when I was done—mission accomplished.
Hey, I followed every instruction to the letter.