I work in IT so basically everything
this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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So two people typing in one keyboard doesn't make the hack faster?
I loved that entire scene for all the wrong reasons
Hobby: Video gaming.
Try to determine what kind of video game a movie character is playing by what they're doing to the controller.
Click click clickety-click... I'm in! Click click click... okay, I've hacked the corporate security system and unlocked all the doors, click click... here's the floor plan.
Can you disable the cameras?
Hang on... click click... okay you're good.
To be fair there are a few Unify router setups in even big corporate settings that use the default passwords, and if you can get into the control panel, you pretty much could disable basically anything in a few keystrokes
I have changed annoying PA music in public venues from my phone, for example
But yeah, movies almost never get IT or secops correct
Is your job/hobby bank robbing?
there's a scene in "Silo" where a character needs to repair a massive steam-powered turbine that is off-balance, scraping at the housing, and heading towards collapse. all fine and we'll, it's sci-fi, so whatever, they can make magic quick fixes to move the plot along.
what really bugged me, for some reason, is how characters started touching the internal components immediately after it powers down - I have to wait for significantly smaller motors to cool off before handling them, especially if they're rotating poorly with a bad bearing, and burning from friction.
I said it loud too while watching it: “that shit’s over 100°C… and they’re going right in?”
If there is a god to bless people, then people like you deserve it the most.
You act that way because you work in a career that can dismember you if you are careless, so you've trained yourself in ways that almost no actor could ever capture, and certainly no screenwriter would ever consider
If you broaden it a little from job/hobby to living in the real setting of a movie, you'll notice characters going places that make no sense at all. Like if it's Seattle they might start a boating scene on Lake Union and ends up at Mercer Island, swinging by Alki beach on the way.
As a kid watching Miami Vice, except for a few external shots I was like "Umm... that's not miami..."
And the few shots that were kind of just had Sonny and Rico walk-talking past buildings that were like eight blocks apart from each other in the same conversation
I have not unlocked a single chasity belt, it doesnt even come up as a service they might need.
About anything to do with computers. Anything.
Even worse the Hollywood Effect makes the stuff that I do that's ACTUALLY impressive look like routine.
Fuckers will literally clap if I unjam their printer but manually recalculate a CRC header for a mission critical live database without a second of downtime and they're like 'Ok but isn't that your job?'
BITCH LESS THAN 5 PEOPLE IN THE STATE CAN DO THIS
But you just typed in some numbers
BITCH I CANNOT EXPLAIN IN UNDER FOUR HOURS HOW TO FIGURE OUT THE RIGHT NUMBERS TO USE
Nods and waves arms widely - the computers.
Which ones? All of them.
Retail workers spending the day doing shenanigans while barely doing any work, I'd kill for time to do some stupid time wasting shit.
Sorry I can't join your impromptu wedding for two workers whose name I forgot.
LOL or for that matter fictional characters doing ANY job. It's like they just screw around all day having wacky misadventures and somehow the company stays in business.
Right? I dunno how it was back in the old days but Clerks is maybe the worst representation of modern service workers I've ever seen. I've got a "hard labor" job and work about 1/4th as hard doing that than I ever did in service when I was younger
Superstore is the worst representation of retail work, I think they did about a week's worth of work max during the entire series.
One of the better ones is a British show called Trolled, they at least show them doing some form of actual retail work, still shenanigans, but they never leave the store to do them besides one or 2 episodes, plus it's a damn good comedy.
If any of the detectives from Law and Order come in to my bar I absolutely will not remember that random patron from five days ago.
I don't think I've ever seen my job in a movie. The only place I could imagine industrial embroidery ever showing up on screen would be as the setting for a chase scene or something.
Now you're making me want to write a story about a high stakes embroidery counterfeiting ring
I wanna see the flight scene in one of those shops now where someone gets embroidered during the fight.
I also work with industrial embroidery machines (not directly, we just have them at work) so I know the like 10 seconds under a needle wouldn't be enough time to do anything really, but I'm imagining a room full of machines making military name strips, hero blocks a goons punch and shoves his hand under a needle while the goon yells in agony. Camera focuses on how horrified face as he lifts his hand to reveal "Maj. Payne" embroidered across his hand. The goon then faints.
I almost never see accurate sword fights. If they last more than two or three swings, they’re likely wrong. And Achilles jumping at the beginning of Troy was just comical. Footwork is so vital to sword play that leaving the ground is insane. But realistic sword play would be boring as fuck. It would be over in half a second and you would barely see any movement.
The 'but I am not left handed' duel in The Princess Bride is about as close as can be expected
And Achilles jumping at the beginning of Troy was just comical.
FUCKING THANK YOU I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT FOR DECADES
It never occurred to me that cinematic/theatrical sword fights are to swordsmanship what gun-fu is to marksmanship lol
that really is a great way to sum it up.
Funny to think a John Woo film could make both marksmen and sword practitioners wince for different parts while cheering for the other
TL:DR: Everything? Like, literally everything.
If it's about driving? They're looking everywhere except the road in front of them
Computers? It's cringe, all I will say
Flying? Not even close
Brushing teeth? Put some tooth paste FFS!
Sex, perhaps? As bad as porn videos are at showing realistic sex situations, movies and especially TV shows are typically way worse with all the requirements to not accidentally show a nipple, omg!
Martial arts and fighting? The worst offenders. After twenty punches to the chest that will have broken half of the ribs, the protagonists now suddenly finds the strength in thinking about keeping his little girl safe and now he beats up 20 guys with those broken ribs
Being punched unconscious or getting some chloroform and they wake up the next day? Lolololollll. Humans are notoriously hard to keep them "out" without killing them, it's why anesthetists are paid so well, it's a very complicated job. When you're out from an impact to the head, you need medical attention, you likely have a minor amount of brain damage. If you're out for more than ten seconds, it's brain damage for sure. If you're out for over a minute, you're likely not waking up with full abilities, you're likely going to be a vegetable at best
Okay, doctors then? Saving a patient's life with the buzzer? Yeah no. When the heart stops, that defibrillator won't make it "go" again, the defib actually stops it in case of heart rithm problems. Also, CPR outside a hospital will result in death for about 90% of the cases, give or take, and Har % goes up by another 2 after 3 weeks later. The tiny % that does survive likely will have issues ranging from benign to being a benign vegetable.
Hollywood is a facsimile of reality that now we are being punished for not conforming to, despite it being illusion
Modern western culture worships image over substance, and Hollywood is 100% image
+ All of physics. Especially anything involving characters falling, lasers, explosions, firearms, and any physics in space (sound, motion, temperature, black holes).
Not that it's known physics, but time travel falls into this category too. Not the time travel itself, that's just suspension of disbelief, but having time travel mechanics be internally consistent. It's difficult to do well.
It took me getting obsessed with Kerbal Space Program to figure out my understanding of orbital physics was absolutely ridiculously bad
"What do you mean you have to go sideways to go up?!"
Have you watched The Expanse? I've seen some physicists talk it up for realism. At least as real as a show like that can be.
Yeah, I love that show. They do a really good job staying grounded in real physics when they're not in the fiction side of sci-fi. IMO, their space mechanics are unmatched in sci-fi.
I love lots of franchises that also do it poorly, but I'm always pleased when they go the extra mile.
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3d printing - it prints flawlessly and the first time.
Every finicky technology always works the first time unless it's plot-relevant
No paper jams ever unless it is funny or plot relevant.
It floats up from the print bed in 5 seconds and it's rotating.
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Call centers: that there is time between calls. That people have time off the phone to form friendships with coworkers.
Handyman: we have sex with clients.
IT: that we can just code anything we want regardless of standards, policies and best practices.
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