this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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LIMITATIONS:

  • Flight -- Cannot fly faster than 48 kph/30 mph.
  • Speed -- Cannot move faster than the speed of sound or run on penetrable surfaces (e.g., water). Super speed is not restricted to running.
  • Telekinesis -- Cannot lift more than 2,270 kilograms/5,000 pounds. Cannot use power on your own body.
  • Invisibility -- Must be conscious to remain invisible. Your clothes become invisible when you do.
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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 43 points 10 months ago (3 children)

lower right - the ability to use public transportation.

[–] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

This is it. The hero we need, but not the one we deserve

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 35 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (17 children)

Telekinesis is a lot more versatile than people make it out to be. Yeah sure I lift heavy things with mind but also I can

  • nuclear fusion and fission (depending on the amount of force I can inact and its precision)
  • pull air from a room or someone
  • use pinpoint force to shatter and break things
  • fly by lifting something below me (if you want to allow that)
  • compress gasses into a liquid or liquids into a solid, possibly also weather control
  • heat objects by rapidly moving their molecules (if you allow that sort of precision) therefore allowing for combustion as well
  • call lightning by manipulating ions in the atmosphere
  • possible light manipulation and production if you moved electrons up and down energy levels or rapidly heat certain materials
  • hell you could do fire bending if you compress the oxygen and add some sort of powdered fuel then heat it
  • create magnetic fields by compressing and aligning electrons in a substance
  • fucking compress air to make the sharpest blade known to man and use it as a wind shear or just throw telekinesis sharpened metal at people idk
  • you could fuck people up if there is even enough dust in the air, just use telekinesis to hold the dust in place. Guarantee you they can't beat 22,246N of force, so suddenly all those tiny particles cannot be moved by them.

Most of these ideas can also be used for strictly non combative purposes but I think if combat when I think of superpowers. With enough understanding of the world around you very subtle manipulations that require very little amounts of force/energy when done rapidly in combination with each other can have drastic effects.

Telekinesis is an absurd power if you don't put enough limitations on it

22,246N is a lot of force if you use it right. Granted I have not done the math on this because I don't feel like it but I guarantee that some of these would be possible and even 1 would be absurd. I would give a no to nuclear fusion though, probably not that.

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You forgot the best part: grab something when you're too lazy to get up and get it or after you just sat down and realized that you need something across the room.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 10 months ago

You're so right

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[–] FireWire400@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Let's see...

  • Flight - Seems pretty useless to me if you can't go over 30, you couldn't easily fly to other countries for example.
  • Speed - Reminds me of all the times I missed my train by literally two seconds but bumping into people while running inhumanly fast would be even worse IMO
  • Invisibility - I don't know what I'd do while invisible. Spy on others? Pull shitty pranks? Not really. I guess crimes but I'm not that kind of person.
  • Telekinesis - Pretty overpowered compared to the rest, being able to lift/manipulate up to two tons with your mind sounds incredibly useful
[–] Snailpope@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Invisibility - bank robbing, free movies, tasting expensive food right in the kitchen, hiding from people I know in the grocery store that I don't want to talk to, ect.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

hiding from people I know in the grocery store that I don't want to talk to, ect.

I thought I was sure I wanted telekinesis, but you make a compelling point.

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[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Telekinesis would be the most useful, but flight is the most fun.

Question about Telekinesis: can you use it on something that you are standing on or strapped onto?

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 8 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Yes you can. Try not to fall off though lol

[–] metallic_substance@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't that make flight totally pointless as an option then? You could just do it on something you're strapped into or inside of like a body harness or a replica iron man suit

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[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

I'll telekinetically hoist myself up by my underwear. The ultimate wedgie, but Two powers for the price of one!

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I stand on a man hole cover and use telekinesis on it to fly myself through the air. Boosh.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Static Shock is back!

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

everyone is forgetting that the invisible picture shows you get to ride a cool train

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago

*living in a society with functioning public transit not included

[–] HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't know how anyone can watch the Quicksilver segments from the X-men movies and not be hot for speed.

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I'm a Lazy fatass, I don't wanna run all the time. I'll take telekinesis

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[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Flight > Speed. Just get yourself a wing suit and you have free horizontal velocity, and a path over basically any obstacle.

Telekinesis doesn’t seem to have a range or speed limit. This minor oversight has disastrous consequences.

Invisibility is just invisibility, but it has a niche. I could think of a few uses, most of them unethical.

I might pick flight, though. It might encourage me to actually go outside.

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[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

well, since terminal velocity of a falling person is around 150mph, does that mean I can gain speed falling, then turn on my flying powers to slow down/maneuver? If so, then flight.

If not, then telekinesis.

[–] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Also with telekinesis you cant lift yourself, but couldn't you lift a car you're sitting in, or even a board you're sitting on and effectively fly?

[–] DoomBot5@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Yea, but then me and my monkey friend would have to fight Jafar, and I'm still traumatized by Will Smiths realistic genie nipples.

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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 8 points 10 months ago

That's an interesting loophole, so long as you don't run into anything.

[–] MorrisonMotel6@lemm.ee 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How about the power of flight? That's levitation, Homes...

[–] Devcatdan@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... With mind bullets! That's telekinesis...

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[–] forty2@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I think telekinesis is the way to go.

  • You can only fly so high before the cold or lack of oxygen get you.
  • Poo is technically not part of me, so you'd see shit floating around when the rest of me is invisible.
  • Speed is only good until you need to turn, and i see no mention of an adamantium skeletal system.
  • Moving all kinds of shit with my mind? I'll be over here not jerking off with this empty velvet glove
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[–] Nougat@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Telekinesis. Build a platform, stand on platform, lift platform.

Now I get flight along with it, and without the speed limit.

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[–] foyrkopp@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Telekinesis. It's not even a context

Telekinesis (especially at the "multiple tons" level) is an extremely flexible tool, a weapon, and a defense. There's an endless amount of creative stuff you can do with it.

It can also still be used somewhat discreetly which is important.

Flight would probably be the most fun, though.

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[–] ptz@dubvee.org 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Telekinesis, for sure.

Even if you can't use it on your own body, it'll work against the ground. And 5,000 pounds of thrust will get you going pretty fast. So that covers both flight and speed.

Or does telekinesis make me gain 5,000 pounds? If so, then maybe flight. lol

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[–] KinNectar@kbin.run 8 points 10 months ago

That's Telekinesis Kyle!

[–] june@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Telekinesis. Definitely. That way I don’t have to get out of the bed where I forget to close the blinds

[–] athos77@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Telekinesis, obviously, so I can get the stuff I want without disturbing the cat.

[The cat has approved this concept, and wishes to know when it'll be implemented.]

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[–] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

I'd defs take telekinesis, I can't lift myself but I can always just lift my clothes or something; and if I can lift 2270kg I could probs throw smaller things (ie my clothes (with me in them)) pretty quick.

[–] Toda@programming.dev 7 points 10 months ago

This is a good selection of powers, and much more interesting (to me) than the usual array this is done with. For me, it's very difficult to choose between Flight, Telekinesis and Invisibility... I think telekinesis is probably the most useful. The only way I would choose speed is if both:

  1. It is controllable, i.e. you can switch it off
  2. It affects how fast you're able to think
[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Another question: Does the use of these super powers tire you out?

I can run 5km in 20 mins. Will running 5km in 2 seconds make me as tired, or no effort from my end? The same goes with the other powers, will I be tired from a whole day of sitting invisible in a women's locker room, or from ripping people's clothes off with my mind? Will that tiredness mean I need to eat more, or the potential that I accidentally become visible again mid-robbery?

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago (8 children)

With telekinesis, I could technically both fly and have super speed by telekinetically launching myself places. So I'd go with that.

[–] Gladaed@feddit.de 6 points 10 months ago

This is explicitly forbidden. Breaking fictional things is always trivial. Doing so is virtually never interesting.

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[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Telekinesis, imagine what fun sex could be with a consenting partner. Probably a limit on distance, but until there..

Also, inner mechanisms of locks and vaults.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Telekinesis. I just lift a cushion I'm sitting on and I also have flight.

[–] OfficerBribe@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Assuming current universe rules apply here is my order of preference. First 2 seem useful, do not see much practical use for other 2.

  • Speed - Assumption is that my brain / eyes can comprehend the increased speed, otherwise this is a useless power. Primary use wouldn't even be running although you could become a top marathon runner. You can do chores and learn much faster essentially allowing you to become better than everyone else and in a sense prolonging your life because you could experience all the same things faster than everyone else.
  • Invisibility - You can do fun stuff. Seems like all of it would be unethical or illegal though, cannot imagine a use case that is not questionable besides hiding from someone you do not wish to meet.
  • Telekinesis - You can also do fun stuff, but I have never thought I need to move something without touching it or wish I could move something really heavy. Good pickpocket and powerlifter skill.
  • Flight - Almost useless in my opinion. It is a high profile power so you would probably get kidnapped and experimented on by someone quite quickly unless you just use this to hover in your room which admittedly would be cool.
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[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Cannot move faster than the speed of sound or run on penetrable surfaces (e.g., water).

Sure do if you run almost the speed of sound.

[–] Gladaed@feddit.de 7 points 10 months ago

If you are being literal every surface is penetrable since an unbreakable object does not exist.

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Super speed and win a lot of olimpic medals with no effort. Apart for the obvious sprint race, there's marathons. Also long jump (with that inertia could easily win). Swimming. Javelin. Also sports like football and basketball (and rugby and American football and maybe hokey) I guess. Smash one olimpic games, play a couple of years of other super paid sports. Retire and take it slow

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[–] sploosh@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Telekinesis. Lift weights, use their descent to drive generators. Profit and clean energy.

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