I'd like to upgrade my penis into super penis, two barrels, break action instead of the pump action, then I'll create a new sex act called "Quakeing", where you strafe around your sexual partner while constantly ejaculating on them with your super penis.
Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
I would upgrade my brain to be able to consciously control all the little automatic stuff. Tell my brain to up the metabolic rate when I want to burn more fat, increase heart rate when exercising, basically to be able to consciously control all functions of my body at will.
I can't be trusted with direct control of the of my pleasure center of my brain.
Since when is a dick an organ?
Reproductive organ
I want my tits to be able to shoot lasers at will, it'd be cool.
You mean something like this?
Liver
Upgrade my eyes so I can sense different wavelengths of light at will. I would also make them very resistant to blindness.
Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.
Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you're just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.
Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?
You could always downgrade your brain again after you're done.
Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence?
Is there even a correlation?
Looked it up. Seems there happiness does not decrease with intelligence. I would have assumed the more intelligence you have the more capacity to understand and worry about problems you would have.
Yea, but happiness is a weird thing. After live changing events, both positive and negative happiness is impacted for a while, but after a couple of months most people gravitate back to their default happiness level.
I was born flatfooted. I'd make my feet and legs normal.
As an audiophile, probably my ears. I wanna be able to hear over 19khz.
Ok but it needs to be an 'activable' skill, if it's always on it could be a nightmare with all kinds of background noises continuously ringing in your ear.
Yep, super hearing for me too please. Imagine actually being able to appreciate 192khz recordings... damn. Actually, I don't even think my HD600s go that high
I can hear slightly higher frequencies than most, or at least I used to be able to. Back when TVs used cathode ray tubes I'd have problems with the small portable TVs because they would emit an annoying high pitched tone. Even high pitched tones unintentionally mixed into records. The world is designed for people with typical senses.
My buddy has a CRT. It makes a very high pitched noise, close to 18900hz. But it's not above what most people can hear, most humans can hear up to 20,000hz. Over time this decreases of course. But every time I go to this guy's house I can hear the CRT going, so loud, so annoying.
Brain is a no-brainer. It's okay as it is, but having an optimal one sounds terrific
Id like to switch my autism on and off
Transgender Men have joined the chat
Definitely my spine. There's a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
One of:
- eyes to see a wider spectrum of light (infrared to gamma-ray)
- ears to increase sensitivity or reduce it close to 0 a will
- nose to smell all dangerous stuff that is odourless (carbon monoxide f.e.)
- muscles not to lose training after a few days (I am not sure that wouldn't fuck up methabolism)
- have an organ to catch radiowaves (while being capable to switch it off)
- brown fat cells to never feel cold (with added super bonus that they also kill cancer by starving it)
- liver to remove toxins without being easily damaged
The choice is difficult :)
Brown fat cells would also make you burn more calories doing nothing
If you're in a first world country and making a decent salary that just becomes a lower chance of obesity and diabetes
Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne
From now on you're french
Merde!
And you can only pee in the champagne region of France.
Otherwise it’s only called sparkling piss.
Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.
better brain
with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs
Probably brain, responsetime
Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick
I'd upgrade my balls so that they aren't vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill's purse and get away with it.