this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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Better execution of the joke
definitely like the shortness of this one more, but i am undecided on the pointe
Its also the original afaik
So much better. The writing in OP’s post seems so unnatural and… bad.
Agreed, but still needs the "why do you have these?" "Idk, I was high when I bought them".
I have to assume it was this pill:
It's no stree overlord
Back when my brother still lived with my mom, he, a full-grown adult, had a set of four square whiskey stones made of metal that he kept in the back of the freezer that he would add to a glass of whiskey every now and then. One night my mom texts me a picture of the whiskey stones while he's not in the house with "I FOUND THESE IN THE FREEZER!" "ARE THESE DRUGS???" "WHAT IS THIS??" Like holy fuck, are you serious? Yeah, sure, they're drugs, Mom. Cubed metal is all the rage on the streets these days. You just swallow them whole and get high as fuck.
Poser, everyone knows you smoke cube.
I used to have some whiskey stones until I got tired of taking a pile of rocks to the face.
I had so many of those as a child. In hindsight, having a drawer full of (sometimes damp) animal shaped sponges was weird.
mom found the animal sponge drawer
My brothers and I filled a huge pickle jar with these and some water with the intent to let them sit for a few weeks to see how big they would get. We put them in my brother's closet and promptly forgot about them for ~5 or so years. One day my brother heard a popping sound in his closet and when he opened it, putrid water was trickling down the closet shelf and soaking the carpet below. Something was growing in the jar and the built up pressure popped the lid, spilling a bunch of shit all over. The smell never quite left his room
Those animals under the extreme pressure of their surroundinhs, mutated into a chimera and pooped everywhere
My mom did this to me when she found the thermal compound in a syringe. Didn't bother to read the label.
"These kids getting all whacked out on street drugs like ..... Arctic Silver"
Mom can't seriously expect me to rawdog copper.
"IS THIS A WEED? "
I was buying lubricants and flux for putting together keyboards and other soldering projects.
My dad was like "look, I don't know what drugs look like these days but it definitely looks weird when you're getting multiple shipments of vials and syringes."
And, honestly, I don't blame him. It looked pretty sus.
I don't even care if this is fake or not, this gave me a good laugh.
there used to be a subreddit r/goodfaketexts (as an alternative to r/badfaketexts), not sure if lemmy has something similar
This conversation is so clumsy and awkward. Why take a good joke post and make it so much worse?
It is very important to reaffirm that you are talking to mom in a private chat with mom by referring to her as "mom" as often as possible.
Well, it gets confusing when your mom is a famous stock photo hand model.
Which has a very masculine looking hand.
One of my kids does this so I don't think it's that weird
That's extremely common to do.
"Now can you get me a Pepsi?"
The best way to get macro plastics into your blood stream
What would happen if you swallowed one of these pills?
There's a small-ish risk of intestinal blockage AFAIK
I'm not Sure but I know an old lady who swallowed a fly...
Do you think she'll die?
From the fly, no. From the possible parasites in the fly's gut, maybe.
Not unless she swallows a spider to catch the fly
Well she can just swallow a bird to catch the spider.
Great ... now she needs to swallow a cat to catch the bird to catch the spider to catch the fly
She should swallow a hydrogen cyanide capsule that only dissolves if triggered by the detection of radioactive decay.
Who knows what will happen to the cat?
Then a dog, then the dog catcher, then the police officer who shows up wondering about the dog catcher... Before you know it, we're ~~making memes~~ reading the news about a geriatric Hannibal Lecter
This is only for those who know
It's funny, I was on the phone today with my Uncle who works at Nintendo and he was telling me about some secret cheat codes. He said that his girlfriend that lives in Canada had the EXACT same thing happen to her, except everyone clapped.