this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 181 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Idiot here. Is it proof that Fauci did 9/11 harbor to fake the flat moon landing on 5g vaccine autism with gay-hurricane-powered Jewish frog space lasers funded by Bill gates and George Soros?

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 85 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If you're not having a stroke right now, I must be.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 52 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Fi yuo thnik yu'oer hvanig a steoerk, plaees clal 191 imemdaityl.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 78 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh my God, now he's speaking Scottish!

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 20 points 2 weeks ago

First good laugh ive had in a bit. LOL

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That should be a line in one of those comedy horror movies. "Oh God! He's speaking Scottish! Run!"

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The USS Enterprise drifted silently in the void. The warp core, normally humming like a gentle giant, pulsed erratically, casting an eerie red glow across the engineering deck. The ship had been through hell—again. Another battle, another crisis, another miracle demanded from its weary engineer.

Montgomery Scott sat in the dim light, his fingers tightening around a hyperspanner. His knuckles were white. His eyes, once twinkling with the joy of discovery, were sunken and dark.

"Push her harder, Scotty! Faster, Scotty! Save us all, Scotty!"

Decades of it. Day after day. Always fixing what the captain broke. Always asked to do the impossible. And he always did. Because he was Scotty.

But not anymore.

From the darkness, a voice crackled over the intercom. “Scotty, we need you on the bridge. The power fluctuations—”

The intercom went dead.

Scotty ran his fingers along the cold metal of the hyperspanner, his lips curling into a grim smile.

"Aye," he muttered. "Time tae ease the strain."

The first to go was Lieutenant Uhura. She had come down to engineering, concern in her eyes.

“Scotty, something’s wrong with internal communications. The system keeps—”

She gasped as something thick and metallic wrapped around her throat—one of the many cables hanging from the ceiling, repurposed for a darker function. Scotty pulled it tighter, his face close to hers, his breath hot against her ear.

“Dinnae worry, lass,” he whispered. “Yer voice has worked hard fer too long. Time tae ease the strain.”

She kicked, she clawed, but soon her struggles faded, and her lifeless body slumped to the floor.

McCoy and Spock came next, together. They’d noticed Uhura missing, of course. They’d come looking.

McCoy never even saw the hyperspanner coming. A single, well-placed blow shattered the doctor's skull, leaving a crimson splash across the bulkhead.

Spock had a moment longer. He turned, raising an eyebrow. “Curious. You appear to be suffering from—”

The plasma torch in Scotty’s hand flared to life. Spock’s words were cut short by a scream—an unnatural, alien sound—as the torch met his flesh. He collapsed, his body twitching. Scotty knelt beside him, whispering in his ear as the Vulcan’s final breath shuddered out.

“Time tae ease the strain.”

Scotty let them run. He wanted them to run.

The corridors of the Enterprise were dark now, emergency lighting flickering as Scotty shut down systems one by one. The ship had become his hunting ground.

Sulu turned a corner, phaser raised—too slow. Scotty was already there, lurking in the shadows. A wrench came down on his wrist, sending the phaser clattering away. Another swing, and Sulu's knee shattered. He collapsed, gasping in agony.

Chekov screamed and fled into the turbolift, slamming the controls. The doors hissed shut just as he caught a glimpse of Scotty’s face—grinning, waiting.

The turbolift never stopped. It climbed deck after deck, faster and faster, until the safety protocols failed, until the artificial gravity couldn't compensate anymore.

Until it reached the top.

The doors slid open, and for a brief moment, Chekov had time to understand. Time to feel his stomach lurch. Time to fall.

From below, Scotty listened.

He never heard the landing.

The bridge was empty now. Only Captain Kirk remained.

He stood at the viewscreen, staring into the black. The ship was dead around him, but he had known for some time that it was more than that. His crew was gone. He was alone.

And yet, he wasn’t.

The turbolift doors hissed open. Slow, heavy footsteps followed.

Kirk turned.

Scotty stood in the doorway, covered in soot, in grease, in blood. The hyperspanner dangled from his fingers, dripping red. His eyes gleamed in the dim light.

Kirk exhaled. “Scotty… why?”

Scotty took a step forward.

“Ye always said ye needed just a little more power, Captain.”

Another step.

“Ye always said ye needed one more miracle.”

Another.

“Ye never thought tae ask what that cost.”

Kirk’s hand hovered over his phaser.

Scotty’s grin widened.

“Time tae ease the strain, Captain.”

The lights flickered one last time.

And the Enterprise fell silent.

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[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If you can't tell which person in your group is having a stroke right now, it's probably you.

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[–] Damage@feddit.it 14 points 2 weeks ago

New Deus Ex plot sounds dumb

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What's everybody got against the Jewish Space Lasers? Rabbi Rabinowitz has been in charge of those lasers since 1998, and he's been doing a damn fine job keeping the Martians and asteroids at bay! You know he's only come down from Skylab II twice since he took the director's position up there? You know what that much zero gravity does to a man? He's been up there so long, he can't come back anymore. He's gonna die up there manning those lasers. That's what Rabbi Rabinowitz has sacrificed for his country and planet! And the gall of some people, ranting about the Jewish space lasers. Are there Jewish space lasers? Yes! And they've been keeping your dumb ass safe from Martians and meteors for decades!

[In my head, I read this in Bernie Sander's voice.]

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[–] exothermic@lemmy.world 62 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Proof that our sun is at the center of the universe and how IMPORTANT humans are in the universe

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 21 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I mean, it's arguably in the center of OUR universe :D

[–] Johandea@feddit.nu 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You are the center of your observable universe and I'm the center of my own. Granted, at this scale the sun is an acceptable approximation, but the earth's center is even better.

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[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 52 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

THE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR EYE

CLICK HERE FOR CRYSTALS THAT EMIT HARMONIC WAVELENGTHS THAT SHAPE THE UNIVERSAL WATER IN YOUR EYE INTO IT'S HARMONIC FORM

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Uuh... wrong? That's obviously a Petri dish in full bloom?

Everyone knows this Universe exists solely as a grad student's thesis experiment...

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[–] solomon42069@lemmy.world 46 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If your anus looks like this, it's time to see your doctor.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a bit gaping but not the worst I've seen

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[–] coffeetastesbadlikecoffee@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The outer ring is made of 1-3 meter thick bedrock, but you can easily teleport through it. Just remember to bring enough material with you to make a portal to get back to our universe, otherwise you'll have to starve yourself to death and respawn without your gear.

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[–] Xatolos@reddthat.com 39 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

For those wondering, this is a (cropped) version of a art piece called "The Celestial Zoo".

The original:

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Its the observable universe in the shape of an eye, quite clever. We're going to have to figure out how to not let stupid destroy our fragile societies at some point.

We did at one point. I love the turtle myth, for what it is, but shit like this use to just stay myth.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

Now hear me out...

Blood for the Blood God.

[–] neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't understand what it shows. Instead of forcing me to make up some crazy shit, could someone explain it to me?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think its just a circular logarithmic representation of the universe starting at Sol

[–] Kayday@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] Emmie@lemm.ee 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

If you hate this image then why post it. Fun image but please work on your titles lol, my point is it isn't super good when you let some 1000 conspiracy theorists living in some niche forums live rent free in your head to such point they ruin cool images for you

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[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Got a better resolution version?

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I do but lemmy hates it.

Edit: wait a second. You're not going to use it to make your universe eye cult, are you?

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I just think it's cool and want to look at it in more detail.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm trying to find the reddit thread I stole it from.

Edit: wait a second. You're not just saying you think it looks cool so you can go form a 'the universe is circuital cult', are you?

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

don't worry, even the dumbest out there know the universe is locally flat.

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[–] u_u@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I found the OG source from the comment while looking for the reddit post. https://pablocarlosbudassi.com/2021/02/the-infographic-and-artistic-work-named.html

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[–] UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Kinda weird to put the sun in the center imo. Cause we're not the center of it all. But if you put the earth in the center and started spacing out from there it would be pretty cool IMHO

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[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

So the universe is flat, right?

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[–] Amanduh@lemm.ee 17 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

But what about the attack on ganymede?

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[–] meliante@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Looks like they were right. The universe is a sphere, not Earth!!

[–] frezik@midwest.social 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Louis Rossman had a video recently that I think applies here: don't give in to the premises of assholes. This was particularly directed at Gamer's Nexus and how Steve over there handles Linus, but it's good life advice for anyone. I had a roommate that I was thinking of in this regard, and I wish I had this advice at the time.

There are people in this world who try to set conditions for their own benefit at the expense of you. Don't let them do that. This image is a good example; it's a perfectly valid model for certain use cases. Don't let anti-science idiots take that away with their stupidity.

Hell, I think the whole Final Experiment with flat earthers is an example of giving in.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Scientists Prove Universe Revolves Around Our Sun!

[–] RedCarCastle@aussie.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Looks like proof of the flat earth

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 2 weeks ago

MitocondriSol: powerhouse of the cell.

[–] NotLemming@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Its obviously the eye of the goddess, who is a huge selfish dragon, which is why were all so screwed - we're nothing more than a microscopic mote in the eye of a selfish dragon lesser demi-god.

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[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
  1. its the universe that is flat

  2. everything revolves around and everything is illuminated by the Sun

  3. the Sun is the largest structure

  4. the veins at the outer edges arent bleeding yet so you can stretch it a bit more

  5. Uranus is in Ouranus

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is what the human eye looks like through a microscope, from the perspective of a germ on a microscope slide.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (23 children)

Is the radial scale logarithmic? Or is it even more compressed than that?

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