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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/GNU_PTerry on 2024-01-11 02:47:16.
A couple of years ago I was working with a really obnoxious co-worker. He was super lazy, always complaining, extremely unmotivated to do anything actually related to his job, very motivated to mess around at any given opportunity.
Anyway, this one night I was doing the big closing mop. At my store this meant filling a bucket full of water/floor cleaner, splashing it all over the store, scrubbing over with a hard brush and vacuuming everything with a wet vac. Clean, fast and effective.
So I get around to the front counter and there he is, just standing in the middle of my path with a shit-eating grin on his face.
I'm like "Bro, can you move?"
"Nah."
"Seriously. I need to get this done fast."
"Yeah, nah."
"Dude, you don't move, Imma dump water all over you."
"Go on then. I dare you!"
Okay. One thing about me is I never make a threat I won't follow through. I immediately pour what's left in my bucket directly into his sneakers. He shrieks and jumps out my way. He spends the next hour complaining that his socks are full of water.