Senator Josh Hawley was in his office, fumbling with a collection of outdated gadgets. His desk was cluttered with a clunky flip-phone, a ancient computer tower, and stacks of CDs labeled “Software for Dummies.” He had just been reading about this newfangled AI technology that everyone was buzzing about—though he wasn’t entirely sure what an AI was.
The phone rang, jolting him out of his thoughts. He fumbled with the flip-phone, trying to press the correct buttons to answer. When he finally managed to say “Hello,” his voice dripped with confusion.
“Senator Hawley, this is Greg from OpenAI. I wanted to discuss your proposed legislation about AI downloads,” the voice on the other end said.
Hawley leaned back in his chair, trying to look wise. “Legislation? Oh, right, that’s what they call laws these days. Something about jailing people who download stuff from China.”
Greg sighed. “It’s not just about downloading, Senator. It’s about AI models—complex software that can learn and adapt, like DeepSeek.”
Hawley’s brow furrowed. He hadn’t heard of DeepSeek before. “DeepSeek? That sounds communist to me. Probably tracking your thoughts or something.”
Greg tried to explain how AI works, but Hawley kept interrupting with questions about old technologies he thought were relevant. “So if someone downloads this AI, it’s like a CD-ROM, right? You just stick it in and hope it works?”
Greg pressed on, trying to translate the concept of cloud computing into terms Hawley might understand. “It’s more like... a virtual flip-phone that you can talk to without actually holding it.”
Hawley looked down at his desk, where his actual flip-phone was sitting. “I’m not sure I follow. Why would downloading this AI be bad?”
“Because DeepSeek is state-sponsored and could be used maliciously,” Greg said. “It’s like giving someone a modem to the Chinese government.”
Hawley brightened up. “Oh! Like that time I tried to use a dial-up connection? That was dangerous, wasn’t it? You didn’t know who was listening!”
Greg couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not sure you’re understanding this correctly, Senator. This isn’t about phone calls or CDs—it’s about advanced algorithms that could change everything.”
Hawley stood up, clutching his flip-phone like it was a weapon. “Advanced? Sounds like the kind of thing that could be used to spy on people or start wars! Just like those CDs I tried to use once—they had some kind of communist software.”
Greg hesitated but decided to play along. “So you’re saying if someone downloads DeepSeek, they might be helping a foreign power? That’s why you want to jail them?”
Hawley nodded vigorously. “Exactly! It’s like having a modem without the filter. I propose jailing these people to protect our freedoms.”
Greg exchanged a glance with his colleague, who was now staring at him in disbelief. Finally, he said, “ Senator, this isn’t how technology works. If you jail people for downloading AI models, you’re not protecting innovation—you’re stifling it.”
Hawley squinted at Greg as if he were staring into the sun. “Stifle? I’m trying to stop something dangerous. You think I don’t know about this communist tech? I’ve seen it on the internet—full of viruses and stuff.”
Greg took a deep breath, realizing there was no way to reason with Hawley in this state. “Well, if that’s your stance, just remember: you’re not alone. There are people out there who think AI is a threat.”
Hawley smirked. “Good. People like me keep them in check.”
The call finally ended, and Greg sat back in his chair, shaking his head. “Senator Hawley is running for re-election,” he muttered to himself. “And if this bill passes, it’s going to be a nightmare.”
As for Senator Hawley, he was already back at his desk, scribbling notes about how to protect the country from “AI invasions.” He had no idea what he was up against—but one thing was certain: he was ready to fight.
