All words are made up, boomer.
this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
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Thank you for teaching me about rejection sensitive dysphoria, I think it has been playing a role in my struggles, but I didn't know it.
I'm an elder millennial, practically an x-er, so its my first time seeing some of these terms.
Some of this stuff, like time blindness, yeah I get that and am medicated for it. Hours just fall off for me. Rejection sensitive dysphoria? Yeah that's another one I've identified in myself and others but didn't know the term for. I can't say I have it all the time but sometimes it can feel quite acute.
But justice sensitivity? Like, what does it even mean to be NT? It's just going along and not giving a shit about anything except what is immediately in front of you? Is this why I feel like I don't relate to a lot of people?do people just like not change in a conscious way, or even think? Why does the concept of justice even exist if it is only important to a minority of non NT people? I find this incredibly strange. And I say this as someone who probably is justice sensitive, so much so that politics is a big part of my life, but then most of my friends and non-work relations are as well.
For me, it's that we were told that we live in a society with rules, but then people with money and power routinely break those rules. It's incredibly frustrating and confusing trying to understand and navigate multiple rule systems when only one system is written down, but the unwritten one is being followed.
It makes me irate seeing people lie just enough to steal money from those around them, but not enough to go to jail. Most NT people don't have the time/energy to care, but it's like a hot poker in my side knowing that someone is "breaking the rules" and getting away with it.
My wife is very rule oriented, she likes to understand what her place is, and make sure she is living up to the explicit and implicit (with a limit only of her vivid imagination) tasks in order to fulfill her role, as long as she understands the reason for the rule.
I am much more chaotic and didn't give a fuck about rules for a long time because its all external and alienated. But as I've gotten older, I've developed an ethics, not morality, that if anything is much stricter than what is "necessary." But my own ethics have, to the best of my ability, good reasonable justifications, with a high standard for logical consistency and self growth and actualization, whereas I still see those externalized rules, especially the ones that seem to undergird the logic of private property, oppression, imperialism, patriarchy, racism; to still be external and alienating, if not just corrosive to the human spirit.
My ethics compel me to.do things that others wouldn't dare, their morality compels them to do things that I can't even comprehend. Its like no matter what the rules are, I'll always find damn good reasons to be feisty. This of course plays beautifully into my afore mentioned rejection dysphoria which isn't chronic but still acute; and comes on strong in moments of self assessment of just these dynamics.
Its almost like people are impossibly complicated, but maybe that's just me
Boomers think the solution to every problem is religion, "work harder" or alcohol. I knew not to listen to most of them when I was a child. I definitely don't heed their puerile advice now, especially after watching so many of them get blindsided circa 2008 and again during Covid.
My parents (slightly too old to be boomers) heard that my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD and seem to get it - “I suppose they didn’t know about it to diagnose you with back in our day”. My dad’s blatantly undiagnosed Autistic too.
"Justice sensitivity" as a symptom of a disorder is fucking wild. Like they really said, "This person doesn't roll over and take all the systemic abuse. We keep telling them it's a normal amount of abuse but they don't accept it. This is their problem."
What disorder are you referring to? I tried to look this up, and justice sensitivity just seems to be a personality characteristic. There are also lots of websites talking about its link to ADHD and autism, but AFAIK it's not a symptom of either.
Hm, looking it up I think you're right.
I still think it's kind of wild that we've noticed these things are linked to higher "justice sensitivity", and as a society we still insist that those people are disordered.
Like, maybe there's a link between having the kind of "disorder" that our hypernormative society punishes for not fitting its far too rigid systems, and being sensitive to injustice.
It's like breaking someone's finger and then noting that that person has high "digital sensitivity". Like no, they have an injury, being sensitive where the injury happened is to be expected, actually.
Sure, although those are still different things, and people won't receive a diagnosis just because they're more sensitive to matters of justice.
I completely agree with you that the stigma around psychological disorders ("disorder bad") isn't justified. Especially people with conditions like autism or ADHD often just experience the world differently and in ways that would sometimes be beneficial if everyone saw it that way.
The term "disorder" does a poor job at conveying that these conditions often result from peoples' inability to function in "normal" society, which is not caused by them being "bad" but rather by society making it difficult for them to function as well as they could.
I absolutely agree, although I wonder if it's sorta like "hypervigilance". Vigilance and keen observation are fantastic!
But there's also a point where it interferes with your life because it's freaking exhausting and you just can't...stop...noticing...every...little...thing...
Maybe that's what they mean, assuming in good faith they're not being all 1984 about it...
Although it does feel like the mental health "industry" trend of pushing the onus on the individual who, may simply be reacting normally to a completely chaotic, absurd, often bleak environment.
That last part is a worthy criticism of the mental health industry and one that often gets a lot of push back unfortunately.
It results in a lot of misdiagnosed individuals and mismatched support plans that can cause more harm than good.
Yes, and if it interferes with social, work, or home life it can be more than just mentally taxing.
From the generation that made up ten derogatory terms for every race, gender, sexual preference, culture, nationality, and disability.
Ten? That's rookie numbers
"We didn't use to have mental issues back then. We had a lot of people drinking themselves to death and stuff but I fail to see any relation here."
"Back in my day, we didn't need no 'feel-good pills' and no psychiatrists.
No, we just bled out in the bath, and god-dammit, we liked it."
-Will Wood, Marsha, thankk you for the dialectics, but I need you to leave
When you're growing up and most of your (and your cousins') birthday parties are keggers because it's nice out and the adults want to party... and it was a common occurrence to wake up on the weekend to have one or more people you may or may not know passed out in the living room... and you have to clear space on the kitchen table to eat breakfast without knocking over any cans, bottles, or ashtrays.
And then you're older and find out about the other drugs that were being abused by various adults. And eventually siblings and cousins. And you think "man I'm glad I'm not like that."
And then you're yet older, at the end of your rope, learning to recognize your own mental illnesses, and seeing those indicators in others.
And then you're even older and those adults start dying in their 50s and 60s, and some of the other adults are finally being self-reflective and open about what they were dealing with internally and it's like a game of bingo and your card keeps "winning."
I went back to my mother
I said I'm crazy ma, help me
She said, I know how it feels son
Cause it runs in the family
- The Who, The Real Me
And then you realize that the years the drugs and alcohol took off of their lives still applies to you, just in the form of chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. And, somehow, you feel some relief. You understand why they turned to substances. And so you sit through the funerals, listen to people say "it was too soon," and say your goodbyes, knowing it won't be long until next time. You know that one day it will be your turn. But in the meantime, there's a hamster wheel that needs to spin because line go up. This is life. This is death. This is existence.
Tick tock.
Doesn’t matter if they’re “made up”.
The conditions that precipitated those words have always existed. The resistance to creating the terms doesn’t make the conditions not exist, it just means that the disagreeable person can justify to themselves that they don’t have to acknowledge them if they can avoid the words.
IOW, terms can help legitimize. They don’t want the conditions legitimized so they don’t have to acknowledge them.
Well, now I have a term for that awful sinking feeling I get in the pit of my stomach whenever I find out my friendgroups are doing things without me. That's a start.
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