I'm hella tired so I thought this said Hellova boss
this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
250 points (94.6% liked)
Not The Onion
12663 readers
798 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Wait, he's claiming to be Hezbollah?
No, Hezbollah acted on their own to make him look bad -- the Lone Towelhead Theory. Unless the Biden Crime Family set it up using Hillary's email server. Or was it Obama all along?
When why is he claiming to have taken the role of Hezbollah
we have to find out about who, exactly, was in that whole thing,
You and maga extremists, those were in that whole thing. You invited everyone by tweet, remember you narcissistic alzheimer maniac?
Wait, was it a peaceful day of love, or was it a Hezbollah plot? Were they unfairly persecuted in a witch hunt, or were they terrorists?
Oceania has always been at war with Hezbollah.
It was also Antifa bussed in by George Soros.
If they were liberals masquerading as Trump supporters, why did he say that he'll pardon them?
I still can't quite believe people voted for 4 more years of headlines like this
I feel like your username doesn't check out
It's aspirational
I try to take heart in the fact that the majority didn't actually vote for him, but it's cold comfort, considering so many couldn't be bothered to vote at all.
We're kinda fucked.
The majority of people who actually voted did. Who knows what the rest really think, but at the very least they were fine with this.
We're mega fucked.
maga fucked Fixed it for you
Still got less than 50%.
He did get the highest percent, but under half of voters. Still fucking depressing, but as numbers were fully counted and confirmed his percentage steadily decreased.
Still fucked though, yes.
Well ackshually! It was a plurality not majority. Not that it actually makes a difference...
If it helps (it won’t), voter suppression has been working overtime since like 2012. My ballot didn’t come until the 8th of November, and I couldn’t spring for a surprise voting day flight home. For more local citizens, things like making them wait six hours and banning people from providing water are effective, not because people don’t care, but because people are concerned with immediate survival, so they might have to leave the line to go to work.
Take heart; you are slightly less fucked than Hezbollah
He wants to bring the stock market down, at least until he is in office. It's what he likes to use as a scoreboard. Since his move to easy federal deficit fell through, he needs to find othe means to be able to pump the market further into a bubble. Watch him change his tune as soon as he is in office. He will probably say, oh well Greenland and Panama decided to take a deal, so "Mission Successful!.... while he quietly releases J6ers and takes even more control of our politics behind the curtain.
And we are not even into week ONE yet.
I'm sure people now see that it's all Hezbollah behind the failed coup and Trump is the only one that can fight them! /s
The people who voted for this don't read the news because they have their heads up their asses, blissfully unaware what goes on in the world. And will blame the dems for anything bad in their life.
His key to winning this time relied heavily on people who don’t pay attention and who don’t usually vote.
They didn't. This isn't a democracy. People didn't have a choice to vote for.
Very few people voted for trump.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Next year he'll claim it was caused by the fish people. Dudes grasping at straws
Hezbollah?
I mean, if were just adding random groups...
Are you are the Grinch wasn't involved too? Or maybe Klingons?
I know Trump says dumb unfounded things on an hourly basis but this one is a top ten level stupidity comment
Without a shred of evidence, of course
Excited to see if he pardons Hezbollah
The same attack he called a "day of love" yesterday?
He frequently takes all sides of every issue so his moronic supporters can cherry pick quotes in retrospect and claim he was right all along. He's been doing it since 2016. They think it makes him "smart". America will get what it voted for.
I was gonna ask about the loving Hezbollah patriots, too
It was a multifaceted day, to be sure 🥴
So he's going to pardon Hezbollah on day one?
Makes total sense to me.
What's the breaking point gonna be for this country? Specifically, the point at which the general public will actually care
When it hits their wallet same as always. What actually got is civil rights? Stopping enough business that businesses said enough let them have it so we can get back to work. That said that was back when pinks would get openly shot at and bombed.
The largest march in the history of the US happened on his last inauguration day. People care.
They're just up against a very rigged and heavily armed system that routinely kidnaps and tortures folks who try to stop them.
The DOJ didn't care for the last 4 years, why should anyone else even think any of it was real? It's too late already America!
Ah yes - remember all those convicted Jan 6 insurrectionists who turned out not to be magas? (Me neither.)
Gravette, Arkansas, 20 minutes from my house, is a Hezbollah stronghold. Amazing. Who knew.
Just 12 more days until he literally the second most powerful man on earth. (musk is obviously topping Trump. Figuratively and literally.)
So.... He's gonna pardon Hezbollah?¿