this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Selfhosted

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A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.

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[–] filcuk@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 hours ago

How does one self-host Obsidian? Does that just mean file sync? What am I missing?

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 14 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

"What is your gender?"

82 females, 3300 males...

Ah guys, where are the females?

[–] nadiaraven@lemmy.world 21 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I'm a woman who does some self hosting. Hi.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Btw also an awesome way of telling people you're pregnant.

[–] Lemongrab@lemmy.one -4 points 5 hours ago

Hmm, you have typed words that I do not vibe with.

[–] shnizmuffin@lemmy.inbutts.lol 25 points 12 hours ago

Shout out to my fellow "None Backup Strategies" chaos goblins.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 28 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

I think this is pretty troubling. Including myself in the sentiment that the self-hosting community needs to do better. Aside from funding individual projects, are there any organizations that help fund self-hosting projects?

[–] derin@lemmy.beru.co 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah, really don't get this one. As an example, I've been supporting the guy who writes most of the software I use via Github sponsors for a while, now. It's nice to get access to additional support chat rooms and perks and stuff, but just the feeling alone is satisfying enough.

Feelsgoodman.jpg

I genuinely recommend those with gainful employment to consider supporting the people who make the software and media you like (E.g. Patreon).

Issue reports and the likes are nice, but they're really not a substitute for cash (in my opinion).

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

How so? 40%-ish is actually pretty good!

I'm also in the "no" bucket, but I've contributed bug reports and do intend to donate soonish now that I use more visible projects (used to just be minidlna, BTRFS, and openSUSE). I only added Jellyfin a few months ago, and I do intend to donate since I don't intend to report bugs or contribute code.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

True, it’s a good percentage, and probably better than most free software. That said, given the communities the self hosted apps support, their excitement for the products, and for some the essential nature of some of these apps, it would be nice to see the yes/no number more 50/50 at least.

I'm more interested in dollar amounts. Are people sending $5 every now and then, or is there more consistent funding?

[–] helenslunch@feddit.nl 5 points 10 hours ago

There's a fundamental problem with FOSS culture that anyone who asks for money is seen negatively. Which I get, but also, I think the other edge of the sword, depending on donations, is worse, because ad-driven and freemium companies like Google and Meta have created a culture of entitlement. Ideally they would set up a 501c3 like Signal or Ghost, but obviously that can be cost and time-prohibitive.

[–] justcallmelarry@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I’m in the no-bucket, but instead i spend time on issues, helping the community and sometimes code contributions to self hosted projects instead.

This is not taken into the account of the question, however, but should be considered as contributing.

(I also consider donating to be contributing.)

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Agreed. I’m not much of a coder, so the best contribution I can give is probably $$. At least until I get off my ass and learn something new!

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 3 points 11 hours ago

Sad... Did not see the survey when it was running...

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 50 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

Damn, and I thought the gender ratio on Lemmy was bad.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Eh, the women I know in tech aren't particularly interested in self-hosting. Not sure why, but women seem to have a stronger separation between work and hobbies, whereas the men I work with often do personal projects at home related to their work. I think the women I work with would be more than capable, they just seem uninterested.

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Possibly related to the whole mental load thing: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

When you have two jobs you don't really want a third.

Yeah, I totally get that.

However, the women in my workplace either aren't married or have no kids. They just don't want to do "work stuff" outside of work hours, so I don't think that comic really applies.

Personal experience w/ SO about similar realizationOver the past year or two, my wife has gotten really stressed by the kids, so I (male) have taken over a lot of the tasks involving the kids. I make breakfast and lunch and drop the kids at school every day, then more often than not make dinner when I finish work, and I put the kids to bed every night. My wife is a SAHM, but she's had a ton of issues with anxiety recently, so she's mostly been caring for the youngest (4yo) and picking up the others from school. All the kids are quite independent now and mostly play with the neighbors, and she makes dinner 1-2x/week. I do almost all of the shopping, laundry, dishes, etc, but she still stresses about those despite not doing much of it (again, anxiety).

We have a very different way of working on household tasks. When I'm short on time, I do the urgent things first and intentionally ignore the less important details to be handled later (usually the weekend). When she is short on time, she'll stay up late and do all the details while also doing the important things, then she's burnt out for the next few days (understandable) and things degrade back to where they were. I think the average level of tidiness and amount of work is similar between our approaches.

So she has essentially retained the mental load, even though I've taken the lion's share of the actual work. Just seeing a mess stresses her out, whereas for me, a mess is just an obstacle that I can work around in the short-term. It's not that I don't see the mess, just that I'm a lot more focused on the task than the broader picture.

My thought is that this is a bunch of latent guilt stemming from her upbringing. She grew up in an E. Asian household, with all of the social expectations and whatnot, so when she sees a mess, she takes it as a personal attack on not being a good enough home maker. I had a similar upbringing, where my mom stayed home w/ us kids and my dad was the sole breadwinner. However, when I was a teenager, my mom started to work outside the house and my dad was able to WFH more, so they shared the household responsibilities a bit more (she still did laundry and shopping, but my dad did more cooking and dishes). My in-laws have had a similar transition (MIL works, FIL takes SS and doesn't work), but my MIL still keeps the same responsibilities she always had.

So, I've been trying to have things a bit more complete, even if in just one area, rather than spreading efforts around the house, and it seems to have a much bigger impact on her anxiety than what I would normally do. I've also listed all of the household chores, and we'll be assigning explicit responsibility of tasks to the kids (they had them as chores, but there was no formal handover of responsibility), as well as offering the kids incentives to take on additional tasks (in our case, that means spending money). My goal is to reduce her mental load and enable her to think about things outside of the home to hopefully get over the anxiety issues she's been facing.

To me, this totally confirms the gist of that post. Taking away the work of a task still leaves the mental load of that task.

That said, I think there's something more here though. I think men see work as a end in itself, whereas women see it as a means to an end (i.e. men want to hunt despite it being less efficient, because the trophy is the point). I'm sure there's a ton of variability there, but I wonder if there's more than just culture at play here (i.e. the above mentality also makes sense in a hunter/gatherer context; men do the big, showy things, while women do the consistent work of the tribe). I don't know, what I do know is that none of the women I know have hobbies that are similar to the work they do, even if they find their work to be fulfilling.

[–] archomrade@midwest.social 12 points 16 hours ago

I do wonder how many within the man/woman responses are trans, too.

Idk if that survey was mainly advertised on lemmy, but i know that at least one instance that did a survey had maybe 2% woman respondents, but more than two thirds of those were transfem.

Either way, a little disconcerting. I'm not sure what to make of that or what (if anything) to do about it

[–] inspxtr@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Wonder how the survey was sent out and whether that affected sampling.

Regardless, with -3-4k responses, that’s disappointing, if not concerning.

I only have a more personal sense for Lemmy. Do you have a source for Lemmy gender diversity?

Anyway, what do you think are the underlying issues? And what would be some suggestions to the community to address them?

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 3 points 9 hours ago

It's hard to know overall for Lemmy, but I know that both Lemmy.ca and Lemmy.nz have surveyed their members.

https://lemmy.ca/post/15125231 https://lemmy.nz/post/12001861

Both were around 87% men, where as this selfhosting one is like 96% men.

I would guess it's explained by society. Women are less likely to be in STEM which seems to almost be a prerequisite for Lemmy and possibly self-hosting, and of those women in STEM, and ( despite what you might think about your own house) there is still a societal expectation of them running the household and doing most of the household chores, even when they work full time. A third job, selfhosting, may be too much.

[–] cellardoor@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago

Really interesting to scroll through and see. Picked up a couple of new tools to look into, too, thanks!

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] retro@infosec.pub 9 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

I only need to send sign up and password reset emails for Jellyfin, I don't need to receive any emails back.

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I meant more like... which server part are you hosting. Answer: Client...

[–] tapdattl@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago

You could self host a web client

[–] USSEthernet@startrek.website 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Which service are you using for this?

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 2 points 13 hours ago

Use anything... Mailcow or otherwise. Just don't expose the ports on your firewall/router to connect back to you.

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