this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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[–] SexyTimeSasquatch@lemmy.world 61 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I got complimented on my hat like three times in two days. I'm never taking it off again.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I started wearing a flat cap around mid to late 2019

I'd been looking for a decent one for years and finally found one, so I wore it everywhere (still do)

The amount of dudes complimenting me, asking where I got it, etc. is wild. I think im Up to over 10 comments, which is insane for someone who's never gotten any in public before

[–] navi@lemmy.tespia.org 14 points 11 months ago

What's really wild is that it's so abnormal for men to get positive comments on things that 10 comments in four years is "wild".

I don't want to be a downer though, so.. nice hat!

[–] JDubbleu@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I wish I could wear something like that, but it'd make me feel pretentious. Not that I think people wearing them look or come off as pretentious, but for me it'd feel that way. I couldn't pull it off anyway since my daily attire is a hoodie and jeans/joggers.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 months ago

As someone who's daily attire is jeans, converse, tee, and hoodie: it comes down to the type and color, like the other guy said

My daily driver is a cheap one from a two pack off Amazon and people love it

Here's the listing

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There are so many styles, patterns, and colors of caps under the very wide term of flat cap. I think the pretentious feeling is silly, and probably geographical. I have baseball hats, beanies, newsboys, whatever. It doesn't have to be your thing, just a thing you have.

[–] JDubbleu@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago

I guess I've never considered myself that "posh" (not British but can't think of a better word). Fair enough though might have to give it a try!

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

What're you gonna do with that umbrella faaag?

Growing up with that sort of stupid toxic masculinity no matter how dumb you realize it is... is just hard. Every fiber of your being screams to tell you no, don't stand out, suck it up, what are you some kinda of douche?

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A pretty young girl told me I had pretty eyes. I was 33 and homeless. 42 now. Won't forget that, especially since I think my eyes are creepy.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Holy shit! Being complimented by a pretty girl while homeless is off the charts. Those eyes must be something else.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

She was the sister of a friend who worked at a coffee shop I frequented. It's not like she saw me covered in filth and randomly went out of her way, lol

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not who you're responding to, but I'll admit my mental image was something like Cricket in the later seasons of It's Always Sunny. I'm not proud of it, but I do appreciate the clarification.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Haven't seen the show.

I know. I know. I should.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

It took me a few tries to finally get into it.

[–] doleo@kbin.social 36 points 11 months ago

1 every 5 years?? Yeah, ok, Mr. Popular.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 11 months ago

Guy doing checkout at the grocery store the other day finishes scanning my stuff, stops for a second and says:

"You know that movie Bullet Train? With Brad Pitt? You look like him in that right now"

I kinda see where he's coming from (not really) but I'm not ever gonna forget that shit

[–] Dan68@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Nurses used to compliment me on my veins.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

I do love a good vein! I'm not a nurse but I used to draw blood. You just know the job is going to be easy peasy.

[–] ItsMeForRealNow@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

I'll take it

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Almost ten years ago, I was walking and as a car drove by, a woman inside it yelled something at me. I couldn't hear what she said but I assumed she was catcalling me. That memory warms me to this day.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 12 points 11 months ago
[–] Parellius@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

I was at a random hotel in London for work and was wearing a pretty nice suit. There was a mirrored column near the door and nobody about so I was adjusting my jacket since I'd been wearing a backback. The girl who worked behind the reception (probably 23 and quite attractive, I'm 36) walked past and said "Hey, you look really good."

Absolutely made my day and I even excitedly told my girlfriend when I got home. It was possibly the only unprompted compliment from a stranger I've ever received.

[–] MinusPi@yiffit.net 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm a trans woman. Before I transitioned, the grand total number of compliments I ever received was a big fat 0. Now I receive at least one compliment from strangers every week.

[–] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 9 points 11 months ago

Hey, that's pretty good... for a woman.

/s (just in case)

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.one 5 points 11 months ago

Also a trans woman, same experience. Somehow getting compliments all the time has been one of the hardest parts to adjust to. Dunno how to respond to them, and can't distinguish which ones are creepy because they all feel good after so long of getting none.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I really do think this is a straight man experience. There are no shortage of compliments among gay men and not in a sexual way. I do wish it were more common among men in general to compliment each other without people making it weird or thinking there must be an underlying reason for it besides just being kind to one another.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes it's where the compliments come from. I get no shortage of compliments about my work, but those barely move the needle emotionally, I've always been a lot of labor for a lot of people, being recognized in that light isn't exactly flattering. In fact it's the only light I feel I get any recognition in.

[–] Knusper@feddit.de 6 points 11 months ago

Yeah, I imagine, it's reversed for many women. That they get compliments about their looks a lot, but would feel much more strongly about a once-in-5-years compliment on their work...

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Old guy noticed I had a ton of produce and complimented me at the store.

Bro do you know how rare it is to get like honest compliments from other men?

[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Honestly, the solution to this, I think, is to start complimenting other men. Men don't compliment each other because they're afraid of being seen as gay (even if they're not aware of it, it's fully ingrained into us from the time we're children). Breaking that barrier and complimenting other men, and not (openly) caring about that stigma will help other men do the same. Eventually, men will start complimenting each other.

Note, I say this as a gay man, so I'm sort of past the whole humiliation of people thinking I'm gay bit. I understand it would likely be more difficult for a straight guy, because you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you're queer.

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

because you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you’re queer.

Honestly, it really shouldn't be a worry. Maybe it's me, but unless they're being really obvious about another guy's body, I can't think of a compliment that would give me that impression.

Even muscles, if the subject is in fact jacked, I would just think they're a really supportive person and like them more because of it. The insinuation about their innate personality would briefly grab my attention.

[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh, completely agree. It's ridiculous for people to fear that reaction, and ridiculous for people to assume something based on a compliment. But it's one of those things that isn't going to change until we all just say fuck it and change it. I'm rooting for gen z to do this. Lol.

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[–] lingh0e@sh.itjust.works 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Once I was walking out of a Target. I passed by a woman and her maybe 6 or 7 year year old kid just in time to hear the kid say "mommy that guy creeps me out".

Thanks to three concussions before age 5... and my entire 20's being spent in a drug haze... my memory is pretty shot. But I remember that encounter as clear as day.

I'm sure I've received a few honest to goodness unsolicited compliments, but they don't stick in my mind as much as the derision.

[–] cryostars@lemmyf.uk 7 points 11 months ago

It really has a distinct sting, doesn't it? Cheers to dealing with it and moving on I suppose.

[–] ODuffer@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

I'm a runner, and I overheard a woman saying to her friend "look at those thighs", made my day.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A stripper said I have nice skin. It was a good weekend. I've never heard that before.

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I get that a lot from nurses before they stab me with needles.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My most common compliment from nurses: "You've got really nice veins" 😂

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago

What's your secret?

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago

You sly dog.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

I played music back in the day. Nothing huge but we played every weekend and were known in the area. I went into a guitar shop to check out a Jackson and thinking I might actually buy one because we were doing so well. They put me into the "special" room with a Messa Boogie half stack and I went off. Look down out the pick guard and I had shredded a pick all over it in dust. Not completely, just not brand new.

I looked up and some kid around 8 or 9 looks up and me and says "you're awesome!". Still my favorite music moment. Even better than seeing a mosh pit while on stage.

[–] carnimoss@lemmings.world 12 points 11 months ago

I once had a kid stop and tell her mom I was the most beautiful man she'd seen because I had colorful highlights. I also had another kid stop and tell her mom that I was cute before said highlights. I never forgot those moments

[–] don@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago

I have long silver hair and have been complimented by two dudes quite younger than me. I returned the compliment, it was nice.

[–] Drusas@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago

*Complimented

[–] ItsMeForRealNow@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I bought a cool looking car and I get compliments for it all the time now. It makes us feel wanted in society. Not like wanted by family but wanted outside of it too.

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