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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/No-Cat7703 on 2024-08-10 01:48:50+00:00.
So this was a few years ago (still at the job so not putting company) but they had gotten a wild hair up their upper management type asses that every lost and found item must be followed with a 2 page incident report (cover letter and narrative). Also it's a bit long.
I asked for clarification, and got a snarky response back with: yes every item. Copy that! I saved the emails and waited.
Following day, I find a computer (obviously needs documentation). Then I find: an unopened bag of family size peanut M&M's. Take pictures of it, location, write out the first page of what site I'm on, contract I'm working at, specific location, and printed it all out and turned it in.
I got a stern email saying that I wasn't supposed to waste their time with a bag of food. Well, you DID say if I found anything.
They decided to rewrite the email saying high ticket items like cells, tablets ECT.
And before anyone says: you're being a dick let's make a few things clear. 1: yes, you're right. 2: they loved fucking with me for some reason. Like for example, violating their own written SOP for certain sites on the contract and how you're not supposed to be left alone yet I was routinely. Other coworkers asked why they kept messing with me (it's gotten way better). 3: the reason I did this was for getting chewed out that I didn't write an incident report for a completely damaged wallet (like it went through a shredder) that was found. No id, debit or credit cards, money ect.