this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"

smooth πŸ‘

[–] Supertramper@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

You’ll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.

[–] TerryTPlatypus@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Girl, you are my Two's Complement, you're always my plus one on any occaision"

Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] dukk@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Remember kids, always use protected branches.

[–] dodslaser@feddit.nu 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pushing directly to main just feels better.

[–] doppelgangmember@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I prefer "master"

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force it

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] Caboose12000@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

lmfao savage

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

For being a sick burn, that was ice cold. I love it.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

She did not think that was romantic.

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

there are so many things wrong with this

[–] Caboose12000@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it's kinda sweet for a kid. I mean what's cooler than a robot when you're 7? that's pretty much the pinnicle of "cool" at that age, or at least it was for me. So to compare a crush to a robot for a kid is similar to shakespear comparing thier lover to "a summer's day" or Selena Gomez comparing thier lover to "a love song"

I, uh, wasn't 7. I was about 10 years older than that and just dumb.

[–] Jtskywalker@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

[–] wviana@lemmy.eco.br 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many reasons did you code into it?

[–] Jtskywalker@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know, I'd have to check the database. I add to it every once in a while so it keeps growing. I think I started with around 20 or so

[–] sic_1@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

Aw man that's so cute! Great idea, hope she appreciates it.

[–] SnowBunting@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do you check the list to make sure there aren't any repeats?

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 1 points 1 year ago

Me when
When I fail my DSA course

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago

β€œThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”

[–] Nsh@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not

[–] dan@upvote.au 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

after his children My

I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named "My".

[–] noodle@feddit.uk 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.

[–] sim642@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

And she was just running random exe files from emails.

[–] cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy

hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like "i thought of you when i wrote this song". what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck

[* I am a human volunteer and you could be too ❀️*]

[–] TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Good human!

[–] Eiim@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago
[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids

[–] zomtecos@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His first kid was called β€žMyβ€œ?

[–] stefenauris@pawb.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TrippaSnippa@aussie.zone 1 points 1 year ago

Little Bobby Tables

I use friends and family as sample data for unit/integration tests.

At a previous job, I tested an automated email system by scheduling fake events for various US presidents. I've long left that position, but I never cleaned up the test data. Every month I still get a reminder for Nixon's upcoming reservation at the Watergate Hotel.

The GNU kernel was not originally supposed to be called the Hurd. Its original name was Alixβ€”named after the woman who was my sweetheart at the time. She, a Unix system administrator, had pointed out how her name would fit a common naming pattern for Unix system versions; as a joke, she told her friends, β€œSomeone should name a kernel after me.” I said nothing, but decided to surprise her with a kernel named Alix.

Source: https://www.gnu.org/gnu/thegnuproject.en.html

I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

[–] geekworking@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.

Deb + Ian = Debian.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet they've broken up since

[–] MrothersInArms@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name

Wiki

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

"Later ex-wife" is like three tenses of information at once.

[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 0 points 1 year ago

Had tons of kids though. Have you met the buntu family?