this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn't say no.
I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
Bro, the genre's called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be...
If that's the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won't be a dream.
And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc.. Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor's interpretation is far from the artist's intentions.
I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I'm mostly just riffing.
My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too.
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She doesn't love you, you're the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
Beggars can't be choosers.
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I can fix her
you're aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
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I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
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Fiction can be whatever you want it to be. There's no Right way to depict fantasy races/creatures.
Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Bruh she has two toned hair and it looks good. That woman knows how to use hair dye well. I bet she bathes every day. Or every second day, goblins probably have healthier bathing habits than humans. Humans are so obsessed with cleanliness they don't give their bodies time to apply its own natural measures. You're not supposed to wash your hair with shampoo every day, you'll damage it. And no conditioner above the neck. Your hair's natural oils will come in and you'll have healthy locks that shine. Constantly stripping your hair's natural oils away will just make you dependent on shampoo and conditioner.
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If a ~~cute goblin~~ woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn't say no.
FTFY
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There are two types of dnd players.
Those who want to live the fantasy of being able to afford rent.
And those who want to fuck monsters.
Why are people always so dualistic in their categorizations?! What if I want to be able to afford rent and fuck monsters?!
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Cyanide! Don't stick your dick in crazy!
I see your point, but what if she's really hot?
But don't stick your dick in crazy!
It's worth it
He's hopeless, he's lost.
How did I just stumble upon a wild Soviet Womble reference? Bwahaha
I saw an opportunity and I took it!
I am so sick of these unrealistic body standards.
What the fuck?
What the fuck? Oh hell yes!
she cute
Wasn't there a Goblin Waifu game that was alright?
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