this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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This is crying for some equine aphorisms & proverbs.
All I can think of is Bojack Horseman.
A horse is a horse of course of course
And no one can talk to a horse of course.
That is of course unless the horse
Is the famous Mister Ed!
Go right to the source and ask the horse.
He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse
He's always on a steady course.
Talk to Mister Ed!
People yakkity-yak a streak
And waste your time of day,
but Mister Ed will never speak
Unless he has something to say!
A horse is a horse of course of course
And this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.
You've never heard of a talking horse?
Well, listen to this...
"I am Mister Ed!"
i love it xd
You're going to saddle me with that burden?
Well, you can lead a horse to water, but apparently you can't make it think.
Hrm, lets see...
I could make a distasteful joke about horse meat, but that might be too edgy, come off like I'm chomping at the bit.
You should never look a grift horse in the mouth; those bare teeth aren't a smile, they're a thinly veiled threat.
Put your cart before that horse, they'll bolt with your cash;
Last thing you'll see, and what you'll find you've become...
... is that particular grifting horse's ass.
When riding faster than a trot, it beehoves oneself to keep ones tits about you.
Peronally, I recommend a sports bra.
Now you could say you prefer a bodice or a corset to accomplish that task...
To which I'd say that I hope you've got the coin to pay for such class.
While that particular fashion is not one I'd generally endorse...
I'll play the servant with stool, to help you get off that high horse.
I could go on, but uh, beating a dead horse, and all that.
...
Wouldn't want to joke to much, make my voice go hoarse.
...
Ah, pff, boo to you too!
Goddamn one horse town anyway.
Nice. I was searching some aphorisms earlier but they were all so trite (there's tons of them though) - your's is better.
Did... did you get the contextual double entendre of 'chomping at the bit'?
As... a 'bit' is also... what you call a comedic performance angle/style/segment?
... It took me about 45 minutes to come up with all that, trashed half of it 3 times... I figured I could attempt to try and stretch the 'creative' synapses in my brain, haven't done that in a while, lol.
EDIT:
I also wanted to somehow work in that the underside of a horse's foot is often refferred to as a frog, when you're cleaning em up a bit after an outing or what not... but I could not figure out how to make that one into a pun.
Servant with stool sounds like the royal bathroom attendant
I was going for as many double entrendres as possible... I was considering basing the rhyme around stool, giving it more direct emphasis, but I couldn't figure it out, went with something else.
Maybe fool and stool could be fruitful, if you'd like to uh, pick through my droppings =P
But uh, servants with stools or some kind of dismounting step type thing... that's been a real thing throughout the history of any kind of nobility or elite class with horses.
Some horsy talk