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Why are people afraid of commitment in relationships? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 days ago by may_be@thelemmy.club to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

When I was younger, I always heard that "true gentleman" value and don't fear commitment. I also heard a lot of girls I used to be friends with complain about how their ex-boyfriends didn't like commitment and how they shouldn't have dated in the first place then. Now that I've gone out into the dating world, I can confirm several of my breakups were caused by the person fearing commitment.

Some were just the person was an asshole, some were that they lost feelings mid-relationship, and if it wasn't either two, they were just plain afraid of commitment. But what makes people afraid to commit? What are some of the reasons anyway, or your reasons if you fear or feared commitment?

My ex "C" said our relationship wasn't "real" and didn't mean anything, and that she liked me but wasn't looking for a long-term commitment. She also essentially wanted to be FWB (friends with benefits) but later said she didn't want to and we were just friends and that we never actually had a relationship.

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[–] myszka@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bad relationship with their parents in their childhood taught them to be afraid of being in a close relationship. This is both extremely messed up and tragic.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah, or their parents argued a lot and they don't want to end up in a relationship where this is the case. This can also mean they're quick to exit a relationship as soon as the first conflicts need to be resolved, because it feels like a sour relationship to them.