may_be

I call him Steve online and I go by Larry.

cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/38371177

So, way back in third grade, I [bigender] met my childhood friend "Steve" [M]. In around fifth grade, I had the hugest crush on him and didn't know how to control my emotions so I became really jealous and possessive when he would spend time with others, especially when he didn't include me.

I really liked his eyes and personality and found him the most handsome boy in the world. I wrote stuff about him in my journal every day and even wrote a letter to my 18-year-old self asking if I ended up married to him.

I even ended up doing this "super secret date" thing but our parents ended up finding out.

After about a year, I ended up moving on and we both stopped liking each other that way and just stayed best friends.

We have been best friends, always together for years, and I never thought I would end up liking him again.

I thought I would end up together "forever" with each partner I had, even with my last partner "Karen" since she said she would marry me. However, she wasn't ready to date, and we broke up and stayed friends.

I, afterwards, ended up liking Steve and asked him out. He said "Sure, we could try dating". And I know it's real soon since we only started dating like last week but I'd like to know about how long until we should start flirting, saying "I love you", etc.

I also found out Steve liked me on-and-off for several years but was always too shy to make a move. I asked him if he still liked me before asking him out, and he said "I won't say yes, but it's not a no."

I'm used to saying I love you casually with especially my ex-girlfriends, but this feels different and I'm shyer around guys, generally. I'm only this confident to ask him out because I knew he liked me and he's been my friend for years.

Anyway, his dad has a somewhat negative opinion of me from what I've heard from Steve, and has always thought I liked him and was trying to get him to do sexual things. The latter is not true whatsoever.

We can't say anything in front of people we know or parents because we're trying to keep it a secret from people we know IRL, and everyone we know already thinks we're dating anyway but whatever. I don't want it to be a huge thing, plus I'm really shy.

(Names will be fake, this is not his real name)

"Dear 18-year-old self,

I hope you're reading this, your old journal from third grade. I have the cutest secret crush, and since you're 18 and probably in high school, you know how to deal with secret crushes, even your own! This is the exact and sweetest confession ever! Steve said 'I'm very sorry I let that popular girl manipulate me, and that I thought she was better, prettier, and superior to you. I realize who my real crush is, but I never told you until today, because I thought you'd hate me.' Also, how is it between you and Steve?

(Drawing of me with an arrow saying "as cute, cool, pretty, and popular as me" and Steve in a tuxedo saying "Steve, at 17 years old!"

Sincerely,

Nine-year-old self

P.S. Do not read until 9 years from now"

[Too late for that]

I was a very arrogant 9-year-old who thought she was the main character of a romance book :,)

I want something we can both connect with and say "Look, that's us!" We're both very shy and in a new relationship though we always smile at each other <3

We are childhood friends since third grade and everyone suspected us to be dating and "shipped" us together for years. He never stopped liking me on-and-off. I ended up liking him back, obviously.

I even suggested once we should "fake-date" so we could break up like Tweek and Craig but we decided not to fake date and ended up having real feelings for each other.

My ex "K" just broke up with me. She said she would like to still be friends, though, and since the breakup was friendly, I gladly said I was fine with that.