this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
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So after all of that, Trump had a stock toilet from the Home Depot installed? That's actually a perfect representation of everything Trump.
Step 1: Marble
Step 2: Gilded shit
Step 3: Whatever, done.
The genius of Trump's classy design taste.
It's basically the Trinity Broadcasting Network aesthetic, only with more makeup and worse hair.
I think that's a Toto Vespin ii, which is admittedly a nice toilet, but yes, definitely just off the shelf of a Home Depot
Not really impressive, actually. It's just recency bias as I'm looking to replace the toilets in my house and did some research into the best choices. (Toto Drake is the best choice under $1000 if anyone is curious.)
I went with the Gerber Viper as the second best unit under $1000 but cheaper than the Toto. It's so good I just ended up replacing my other toilets with the same model.
..... I spent $98 on the cheapest toilet in my area.
It flushes.
10/10
I splurged and spent 150 on a low water usage style. I did upgrade the plastic seat to wood though, I'm classy like that you know.
But how many golf balls can it handle at once? That seems to be the advertised metric on the store shelves.
I feel like if that is your (not you specifically) shopping metric for a toilet, you should change your shopping metric to a better diet.....
Right? Under $1000... those guys are literally pissing money away
Why would you pay even close to 1000 for a toilet?
Have you made a choice yet?
It takes a while to test run that many.
I don't know about your experience, but home Depot gets angry every time I've tried a new one.
So, I started a bunch of responses about putting toilets/sinks that HD sells in their washrooms to try to advertise them, but there's a bunch of reasons why the industrial models work much better in those situations.
Then, it dawned on me... Ikea should open a hotel.
The best toilets a Flachspüler. I believe you have the total opposite in the US. Like poo oceans.
The toilet that shares the delicious aroma by shitting on a little shelf outside water? I always wondered what's the benefit except forcing you to do your deed quickly because of the stench?
Yes. The first benefit is no water splash, the second one that you can properly examine your poop. I don't really see stench issues as long as you flush when you're done.
Relevant XKCD
Basic ass-toilet actually kinda works.
That's on brand for USA. They don't call it a "third world country with a gucci belt" for nothing.
It’s so on-brand, it hurts.