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Well, first let me say that you should go to the barber as often as you want, not as often as an average man does.
I personally go every 3 months because I have long hair and only need to get it into a bit of shape regularly. If I had a short hairstyle I would go more often.
This is kind of a tautological answer. Of course it's as often as I want, but what do I want? I had that question when I started making my own decisions on my hair. I was never fully happy with how things looked and haven't figured out how to style it the way I like. What part of it was I unhappy with? I couldn't tell. Would more frequent hair cuts help? Or less frequent so it spends more time in that slightly grown out state and I have more consistent hair to work with? And so many other questions.
If you know that most people get their hair cut after X weeks, then that gives you a starting point to experiment with instead of going into it completely blind.
What people do in that case is look at pictures of people with various hairstyles online, trying to find one where they feel like "this looks good, I want to try that one". Or consult with a good hairdresser when you're there who might have some suggestions of what could fit you. Nowadays there are even apps where one can try to put various hairstyles onto their own picture.
I don't know what problems OP is facing, but in my case, this is basically what the hairdresser recommended that I do and also what I tried doing. Except it didn't help because nothing was appealing to me (I'm rather change adverse). I really needed to maintain a particular style for a while to get used to it before I could decide if I liked it or not. After that time has passed, I couldn't tell if I disliked it because it was grown out too much or if I just didn't like that cut, or if it was some other reason.
Also for people like me atleast, yeah it might look good on this or that person, but they don't look anything like me.
I've basically just resorted to never cutting my hair though. I've had everything from darn near bald to just past my shoulderbladees which is about where I am currently.