If the far-right misogynist with a bad haircut wants to villainize independent women, Jezebel is more than happy to be the hag of his nightmares.
The internet has ruined me in a thousand ways, but one of its strangest gifts is that I can now buy a curse as easily as I can buy a phone charger. On the mystical website Etsy, you can find a spell for just about anything. Don’t want it to rain on your wedding day? There’s a spell for that. Want the man who cheated on you to develop an incurable rash? Or premature balding? The Etsy coven has you covered.
But the internet has its downsides. Exhibit A: Charlie Kirk. Maybe it’s his obsession with telling women what to do or his aggressively large head, but the far-right podcaster’s presence is more irritating than most. That’s when I remembered: there’s Etsy.
These days, witches cater to more than just personal grudges. And it’s not uncommon for them to channel their energy toward thwarting Republicans (there’s even a subreddit devoted to casting nightly hexes on Trump). Are you interested in punishing Kirk for the years of regressive rhetoric he’s shouted at America’s youth and anyone within earshot? Here at Jezebel, we’re about to find out if there’s a spell for that.
new twilight just dropped, gouge the neck and kill