This was my situation exactly. I knew that antidepressants only treated the symptoms but the underlying condition isn't addressed. I was buying ADHD medication on the dark web and that stuff actually worked. Ended up going to a psychiatrist and paying for a diagnosis. Honestly amongst the best decisions I have ever made. Many of my life outcomes made sense when viewed through the lens of ADHD. The project for the remainder of my life is undoing the damage that was done in the first 47 years.