chapotraphouse

Mate isn't. It means friend and no one is using it as a gendered term.

Even in fucking australia it was a gendered term

Whereas mate has traditionally been understood as a male solidarity term used 'by males and for males', this preliminary survey shows that more young women, aged between 18 and 29 years, are reporting their use of the address term mate compared to women aged over 50 years.

But that's not even the core of the issue. If somebody has been misgendered it is so cruel to start debating the merit of whether it's actually okay to use that word for them, especially to them. Apologize or get lost.