this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2025
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This is TIPP skills 101. Instead of biting into a lemon, try the more socially acceptable atomic fireball or a warhead.
Neither of those allow you to also assert dominance by way of sheer confusion though.
Right!?! But the lemon has to be unpeeled and whole. Chomp down like it's a granny smith.
Ppl will bewilderedly wonder "Where did they get that lemon from?? They don't have a briefcase, or a backpack, and it would have been very noticeable in a pocket ..."
I bought some super sour lemon candies for the express purpose of having them for this scenario. I'm imagining something like...
Someone: Oh God! Oh no! I'm freaking out! I can't stand it!
Me: It's okay. Here, have this; it's impossible to have a panic attack while eating a sour candy.
Someone: Okay, if you say so... Hey, what the fuck?! This is unreasonably fucking sour! You dick!
Me: You're welcome.
The lime sour skittles are so sour that it works as a decongestant, ear wax remover and sinus cleanser all-in-one. They're great, l like to eat a fistfull at a time.