this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025
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No worries, you're more than welcome to stay and make friends. ๐โค๏ธ Let's make it through one more day together! ๐ค
I am sorry, but I don't have friends. Nobody gives a damn about me. I too tired to make it through anything. I just want to die. I don't deserve to live.
This is just not true. I do, so I am proof of that.
This is also incorrect, unless you've done something incredibly, incredibly horrendous, like murdering an entire orphanage or some shit.
But you should definitely find help for these feelings that you have. Wanting to live is a great feeling, and I want that for you. It's worth having for the sake of having it. Please tell me you'll at least try to receive some help if you haven't already. โค๏ธ
I lost the ability to want to live and I don't know how to get it back. I have been on meds and undergoing therapy for last 5 years or so. I am generally okay, but certain incidents trigger the worst aspects of me. that is because I have BPD.
Anyways, thanks for your kind words. I will certainly try.
Thank you, friend!
I understand that that must be so tough. ๐
Do you have any interests or hobbies that you like? ๐
Not really. I mostly code a little, but that's about it.
Edit: Oh, I am a sucker for books. Like I have a library containing more than 1000 books.
Oh my god? That's insane! You live in a house or how do you fit all those books? Are they different genres? What kind of books do you read mostly?
I live with my parents, so I can indulge in it. I love reading fiction of all kinds: fantasy, classics, sci-fi. I also read a lot of philosophy and japanese comics.
Nice. I wish I was more into books. Seems like a wonderful world of fiction and nonfiction.
Still though, around 1000 books. I can't imagine what that would look like. There must be an entire room dedicated to books? They/you live in a big house with a library I imagine?
Not a whole lot of space. I use basically two large cupboards worth of space. Books are basically my escape from my life.
That's enough to fill a thousand books?
Well, here are my shelves:
Behold!!
Ooh, Attack on Titan! ๐คฉ Yeah wow, it doesn't look that much but I guess if you add the second storage to this then a thousand might be reasonable ๐
My therapist has informed me that this is my coping mechanism. Luckily, it could have been worse. Some of the most common coping mechanisms in BPD are alcoholism or some kind of similar substance abuse. I guess I was lucky in that regard or maybe I intuited it and intentionally avoided. I know how often I felt like getting dead drunk and I resisted the urge to.
Dude I am super stoked for you that reading books is a coping mechanism, if that's what you meant. You're damn right it could have been a worse mech. Reading books is awesome compared to other crap people get up to when they're not feeling well.
I tend to play games or stay up too late when I'm feeling somber or lonely.
Hey, if you ever feel like letting something fly off your chest, I'm 1 DM away, you got me?
Thank you so much. That helps a lot.
Edit: I strongly believe video games can be a art too. So playing video games is not too bad, imo.
Any time!
Yeah, lol. I guess I didn't mean video games are bad per se, but it is an escape from reality in a sense.
Staying up too late definitely is not good though. That crap is life-shortening. I'm not in a good place, sleep wise. But it's completely self-afflicted. I have no trouble sleeping. Just trouble going to bed in the first place. I'm always tired, I just don't want to sleep. ๐ฉ
Yeah. Books don't take a lot of space
Edit: Sorry, two cupboards form roughly half the collection. Rest are in another room, in 'semi-storage'.