this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025
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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 183 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Dutch is not a language. The people who "speak" it are Germans who suffered severe head injuries. The place we call "the Netherlands" is a German hospital colony where those unfortunate people can live while they recover. That's why it's flat and everyone walks or rides bicycles; their head injuries make them unfit to drive cars or to manage difficult terrain.

/s, please don't send the actual Dutch after me.

[–] jackr@lemmy.dbzer0.com 74 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Het is te laat, je hebt de Nederlanders opgeroepen, makker. Bereid je voor op k o l o n i s a t i e.

spoilerIt is too late, you summoned the Dutch, mate. Prepare to be c o l o n i s e d.

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Do you implement your healthcare system in your colonies? Also how likely are the colonizers to marry the locals and produce tall offspring?

Asking for a friend.

[–] Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

First question: no, best we can do is force you to build dykes.

Second question: we wouldn’t actually visit you, we would hire your neighbors to subdue you.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First question: no, best we can do is force you to build dykes.

*dikes

Then again, this being Lemmy maybe you meant it as written!

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 week ago

Both spellings can mean wall for holding back water, and things spelled with a "y" are 20% cooler.

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Bummer! Although an update to our water management infrastructure would be welcome.

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

Dutch one is still semi private

[–] yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How does "opgeroepen" translate to "summoned"??? It's clearly "aufgerufen" - i.e. "invoked". Smh my head.

[–] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

As in all such matters, it is the German version which is wrong

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

I just read it as "called up", though granted Dutch ain't my first language (or even second),

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I am Belgian and live close to the border, I know plenty of them.
Whatever they are they are not german.
They have a soul, sometimes smile and have humor.
And definite proof is that when one comes into the same room as you the temperature doesn't drop significantly, also there is no detectable smell of sulfer.
Definitely not german.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 35 points 1 week ago

The Dutch are simply swamp Germans, best left to their own ways. Much like the mountain Germans you find between Bavaria and Italy.

[–] HowAbt2morrow 15 points 1 week ago

This makes an incredible amount of sense so I can’t imagine the Dutch understanding what you’ve written.

[–] Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Time to find out if I can ban fellow admins.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Trump v Musk reenactment!

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

New theory: the reason the Hogeweyk concept was effectively implemented in The Netherlands is because the entire country is that concept.