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right? fucking going bowling is a bonding experience, not non consensual sadist ritual bullshit
or the sort of disturbing blood sacrifice type shit they do in the dormitories of prestigious western tertiary education institutions
Going bowling doesn’t take any level of commitment from the participant though - it’s just a nice thing to do - they’d do that anyway. The bonding part comes from doing something unpleasant to show commitment to the group. I’m not saying the weird shit that it has developed into on campuses is a good thing, that’s way too far. But I was a member of a running club and to be a full member you had to run on a summer Saturday across a set route up and down hills repeatedly just the hardship and over difficult terrain in the heat of the day - it was a long and deeply unpleasant run. But then all the new runners and all the existing members have a big bbq and eat food and drink cold beers together. The old timers congratulate you on your performance and reminisce about when they did it - perhaps it was a heatwave back in ‘92 or there was flooding or whatever. Everyone winces together when they see the size of that guys blisters etc. and just like that you’re bonded. You’ve all had a shared experience of a trial you completed to be part of the group. Hazing like that is a really good experience.
I think the disconnect here is that what you're describing is a person who signed up for checks notes a running club going on a difficult run. There's a clear disconnect between something like that and the kind of hazing people usually talk about, where the new members are harmed or humiliated by the rest of the group, and then go on to perpetuate that harm/humiliation to the next generation.
The really dangerous part of hazing is the ratchet effect. Hazing rituals like the ones I'm describing never get easier, they only get more harmful/humiliating with each successive generation, until you end up with shit like this. The only way to stop it is for a bigger outside organization to step in, set limits and enforce them. For example, modern military people will talk shit about how boot camp isn't as hard as it used to be, but that's because guys in the 80s were getting PTSD and permanent physical injuries from the shit the Vietnam vets were doing to them and the government had to put a stop to it.
maybe, just maybe, we don't need to engineer harmful situations to artificially "enhance" the bonding between groups of people? Maybe that's cult shit. Maybe the groups where it "went too far" are just natural steps up from the cool, normal, good experience you describe
I don't feel that strongly about the above, but saying you have to subject people to "unpleasant" stuff and haze them for group bonding to occur is a bridge too far. Just because you liked it doesn't mean thats the only way people bond. And to be clear, the bowling I was referring to would be more analogous to the bbq after in your example. Something fun and off topic to do together, with a little spice and competition to keep things moving, but enough social time to bond. Participating in a race or whatever feels a bit different than a hazing run designed to be unpleasant and used to gatekeep.
having one example of it being subjectively positive doesn't mean hazing is good or necessary in general
Thank you sir, may I have another!