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maybe, just maybe, we don't need to engineer harmful situations to artificially "enhance" the bonding between groups of people? Maybe that's cult shit. Maybe the groups where it "went too far" are just natural steps up from the cool, normal, good experience you describe
I don't feel that strongly about the above, but saying you have to subject people to "unpleasant" stuff and haze them for group bonding to occur is a bridge too far. Just because you liked it doesn't mean thats the only way people bond. And to be clear, the bowling I was referring to would be more analogous to the bbq after in your example. Something fun and off topic to do together, with a little spice and competition to keep things moving, but enough social time to bond. Participating in a race or whatever feels a bit different than a hazing run designed to be unpleasant and used to gatekeep.
having one example of it being subjectively positive doesn't mean hazing is good or necessary in general