this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/28523918

This made me laugh incredibly hard, so had to cross post it.

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 166 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Y'all would have killed Jesus.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (3 children)

fun fact... killing jesus was always god's plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it's all part of god's plan, right, and god's plan always comes to fruition.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (6 children)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The Abrahamic god is literally a war god. It evolved from El and Yahweh, members of the pantheon of the polytheistic Canaanite religion. El is the father of all gods and Yahweh is a weather and war god. So yeah no wonder that the Abrahamic god does crazy evil shit. Like killing all first born sons.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 5 points 22 hours ago

You just inspired another wikipedia rabbit hole. See you in a week!

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fortunately; if god is real he got bored with this particular video game and moved onto some thing more exciting.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yep, we're living in God's ant farm and he's a bored toddler. And one day he'll show up with a magnifying glass and have a laugh.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As long as Trump sizzles out before I do, I will be a happy man.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dude looks like he's a few hamberders away from croaking. but i've been saying that for a year or two now.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 1 points 19 hours ago

If life taught me anything, there is always room for dessert, and an extra hambie.

That's why I'm an atheist. I'm too optimistic.

[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Doesn't the Bible go on and on about how the devil is the great deceiver? Seems accurate considering how many people think God was the good guy.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

What do you think the word "Deceiver" means in this context?

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

He could be just really, really stupid.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

My belief is that, if there ever was a god, he looked at the world he created and died of Christian pity.

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 day ago

you say that now but when the (checks current feelings are still, oh good) flames of (checks notebook on latest revisions, hahah stupid assholes) HELL are kissing your feet while a succubus sits on your face and.... ok brb this is fuckin hot...

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)
[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state" - Killer Mike.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus, who came back from the dead? Like a zombie? Zombie Jesus is lord. I worship a zombie cult? I need to rethink my life.

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 hours ago

It's well known that since he came back from the dead but he didn't decay or lose intelligence or anything, that Jesus was a lich.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago

Well he was from Palestine and had a darker complexion so most likely.