this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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The meanest people I have ever known were church people. My dad left us when I was young, my mom was left a single parent. Seeking refuge in the church, we started attending regularly. In that time I felt things from others, ranging from genuine kindness all the way to pity. However, as things progressed and my mother became more involved with the church, the more people started to talk. From casual mentions, to annoyance that she would show up, to talking behind her back.
Was she super pleasant to be around? No, I think she can be awkward and has a hard time making friends - and those people picked up on that and ran with it. It wasn't so long until she was excluded from certain events, that there were more "special" bible studies that she would her invite would be "forgotten". She wanted so much to be included, but she didn't fit their paradigm of.. I don't even know what.
Oh they preach of acceptance and forgiveness, of not judging, but they are some of the most hurtful people out there. I don't know what I believe personally, but I'll avoid going into a church for as long as I can.
Your story is all too common, and I saw a lot of this growing up. I was there as a child overhearing the comments about people. Seeing and hearing my parents and church and school leaders talking shit behind backs, amd being judgy as hell towards anyone and everyone.
Yes, God forbid you seem like a burden or "different" in any way. Their "acceptance" of you will come with a lot of caveats.
I'm glad for your sake and your life you are aware and see it for what it is. You're better off.