this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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A Boring Dystopia
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What would Jesus do
Jesus turns water into wine. The human body is 70% water. Earth is like 60% water. Jesus was an alcoholic.
TIL Jesus was probably 70% wine instead of 70% water
...huh. Is that why he kept so well?
I used to be the same but then I sobered up somewhat and now I’m only 10% wine. (depending on the day.. usually 0%! Sometimes 90%..)
Does that mean Jesus could cause people to become intoxicated? Assuming he can control how much of the water gets turned into wine so he doesn't just immediately kill the person he could pull off some fun pranks.
I mean.....thats how I took it when I went to catholic school.
Also in catholic school, they never did answer the question of why we drank jesus's blood, and ate his body. Why is that ok? And how did we STILL have so much left to go around so many centuries after his death?
These answers went unanswered to me in 2nd grade. I did get to hang out in the principals office though.
That's Catholic education for you - fill kids heads with abject nonsense, go full authoritarian when they ask for clarification, then later cry about lack of mass attendance when they grow up and want nothing to do with your institution
........dude, were you IN my class? Or....ya know......what's going on here? How are you narriating my childhood 30+ years later???
because the catholic church is the new Roman HQ and is ran by "antichrists" hence the ritual of ca(I)nnibalism. there are many others but no one wants to believe the church is opposite of what they say
Catholic school wasn’t so bad. I got a good education. And when I went to college I saw all these kids from public high schools who didn’t know shit, asking dumbass questions. For all my general education requirements I hardly had to study anything. Also they should have taught you about trsnsubstsatiation which would answer your question. Even though it’s not “real”, it explains the concept in their belief system.
I think it means he could cause you to dissolve into a puddle of booze.