this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
70 points (96.1% liked)
Asklemmy
44254 readers
1303 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Try to care a little less (say 1%) each day about what others think of you. I don't mean be uncivil or degenerate per se but rather try to say yes to yourself more and less to others until you feel there's a better balance. People care way to much about what others think about them at massive cost to themselves and its not healthy or actually even desireable.
The person who is most authentic and self-nourished will always win, sort of an extension to the notion that the person who cares the least has the most power. Relationships come and go but you gotta learn to live with and as you and to chase only what you know in your heart to be correct for you
"you will stop caring what others think about you when you realise how little they do"
Its also an easy way to cut the fat in terms of relationships that are past their shelf life
People in general pay you very little mind, even people who care about you. it's called the spotlight effect.
I only mean that most of the time, the way people make themselves subservient to preserve relationships that aren't organic or sustainable is moot anyway cuz they'll can your ass the minute there's any problem or inconvenience or reciprocity expected. Better to be proactive and get ahead of it by making better choices for yourself and turning down worse options now when you have discretion and someone isn't forcing your move