In case you were wondering, for Santa to pass through every chimney of the houses of all those who celebrate Christmas, he must be no wider than 25 cm. However, not every house has a chimney—and technically, breaking and entering via a chimney is a crime. If Santa were caught, he might end up in jail!

AITA because I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney??

ELI5 how big is Santas sack?

[–] TheDrink@hexbear.net 19 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney

That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 15 points 17 hours ago

I think that's the plot to "The Santa Claus" with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 15 points 18 hours ago

Dark and gritty Santa Clause reboot where Santa says "fuck"

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15's to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 11 points 17 hours ago

Hillary ensues

hillary-apartment

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 14 points 18 hours ago

NTA your chimney your rules

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 13 points 18 hours ago

ELI5 how big is Santas sack?

NSFW?

[–] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

A lot of houses have a chimney that's just an exhaust for a gas furnace, not a fireplace... an interesting twist I've never seen an attempted explanation for

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

in the Santa Clause movie Tim Allen goes down those too.. as he thins out to fit into the pipe and goes down, at the bottom the wall turns into a giant fireplace, until he goes back up again and it turns back into a normal wall.

[–] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 7 points 17 hours ago

lol that's pretty funny and the goofy cgi makes it even better

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Gv9c0bGEhms

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Santa is a wizard. I believe that answers all of the questions

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 6 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Uhm actually Santa is a sorcerer

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, sure, a spontaneous caster that spends all their time in a secluded tower definitely not studying spells. Not buying it

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 4 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

According to most research, Santa had his powers magically given to him without any effort and spends all year spying on people and finding reasons to not give gifts to the poor while running a factory fueled by slave labor. Not only is he a sorcerer, he's also bourgeoisie.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 2 points 13 hours ago

real saruman-type operator

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 16 hours ago

I'm willing to entertain contrary evidence but to act like you know anything for certain about sick an enigma is folly!

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 5 points 17 hours ago

naw santa spends 364 days a year doing spell prep for his one big showstopper moment, def a wizard