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Pretty shit. Came out of the closet as trans to my parents just before the election after hiding dysphoria for nearly 20yrs (I'm 30). Unfortunately, the dysphoria has been intense enough that I'm so dissociated that I can barely function, so as you might imagine, I'm currently living with parents.
My dad's reaction was basically, "whoever the best you is, be that you".
My mom's reaction was "but you're my son... I always wanted to have a brother and you're kinda like that".
Meanwhile my grandparents voted for Trump after saying they wouldn't, and are now crying about it. Literally. My grandmother was in tears.
So my mom is also dealing with that, and possibly osteoporosis, which meant she said, "it's gonna take time to process this".
Then last night she told me that I wasn't allowed to start hrt until I moved out.
She refuses to let me tell her why I can barely function. She refuses to let me describe what I'm going through. She says she "can't handle it", that "it's not a top priority right now", that she's "trying to understand" why I've made this "choice" while also telling me things like "but I like you the way you are" and rejecting any information I send to her because she'd rather consult her friends that she "trusts more".
She starts to have a panic attack whenever I try to talk to her about it and God forbid I tell her that she made a mistake because then I obviously hate her guts and want her to die. She's literally accused me of that.
It hurts like hell but I don't know how to get out of this situation. I don't know how long it'll take hrt and therapy to get me on my feet all while not having a job. All this while in Texas. I'm fucking scared.
Edit: I also kinda wonder if I was born intersex and that's why my mom is freaking out. I'd think my dad would know and would say something, but idk. I've heard of times where one parent had an intersex kid """fixed""" without the other parent knowing. It honestly might explain some shit if I was born intersex.
Sorry you’re going through this. But I’m proud of you for coming out!
Thanks, it really sucks. I didn't expect the reaction I got. I kinda expected my dad to be the one who got upset while my mom was supportive, not the opposite. My dad was the one who had two sisters and only nieces on his side of the family, so I kinda expected he was gonna be the one upset by it; but he's cool with it.
It also blew me away to hear that my grandparents voted for Trump after years of talking about how much they regretted voting for him in 2016 and how they'd never vote for him again. Guess I'm never coming out to them; not that I was totally expecting to due to their age, but it'll be fun coming up with a reason why moving out means I'm forced to move across the country and possibly never come back (at least probably not while they're still living).
Once you are moved out, and across the country, the song Cat's in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin gives you the perfect believable excuse. I'd love to come visit, and I will once work isn't riding me so much. We'll get together then.
I love that song... It's just so sad. The kid wants to spend time with his dad but can't because his dad's always busy, and then the dad wants to spend time with his kid but can't because his child's all grown up and is busy now.